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Mammoth Jokes

I have the memory of a wooly mammoth

It's like an elephant's, but a little fuzzy

How do mammoths celebrate victory?

Triumelephantly.

What did the Mammoth say to the naked caveman?

“How can you even breathe outta that little thing?”

Do you think a dinosaur could beat a mammoth in a fight?

You bet Jurrassic can.

Why can't mammoths clap?

Because they're extinct, stupid.

Cavemen

A pair of cavemen were debating what to hunt for that day.

"Me say go to big lake and get big fish," said the first caveman. "Big fish cook in fire, feed families good."

"Me no want fish," said the second caveman. "Me say go to great plain, hunt mammoth. Mammoth big and hairy, make muc...

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Mammoth walks down the street.

All of a sudden a dozen of elephants get out of the corner, see Mammoth, come by and beat the shit out of him.

After they left Mammoth stands up, spits broken tusks and says: "Fucking skinheads!"

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Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire.

The youngest cowboy says, “Last week, a mammoth bull gored 10 men on the range, but I stepped in and wrestled it to the ground with nothing but my bare hands.”

Not wanting to be outdone, the second cowboy says, “That’s nothing. Two days ago, I was attacked by a 10-foot rattler, but I caught i...

What do you call a mammoth who sings calypso?

Hairy Elephante

What is the biggest moth called?

A mammoth.

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Thor cruises the universe looking for the perfect woman.

He eventually comes to Earth. He spots this amazing-looking woman in a club, so he asks her if she wants a drink.

"Yeth I'd love a drink she replies".

A bit later Thor asks her to dance.

"Yeth, I'd love to dance " she replies.

In the end Thor decides to ask her back to ...

Big Joe

A guy runs into a bar. "I'll have a vodka tonic, but make it snappy!" he says to the bartender.

The barkeep hands him his drink. The guy throws a twenty down and says, "Keep the change. I gotta get out of here, Big Joe's coming!"

Hearing this, patrons all over the bar frantically get u...

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Penis Enlardment

Doug was showering after a workout at the gym when he noticed that the guy next to him had an enormous penis. His own junk being somewhat on the small side, Doug asked him if his mammoth member was natural or if there was a trick to it.


"Oh, there's a trick. Every night before bed, rub s...

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There was once a competition involving three gruelling tasks.

The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:

1)Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go.

2)Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.

3)And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.

Many peop...

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A Story from the Old West

Scene: The old west, in a Saloon, somewhere in Dodge City or Tombstone, AZ or the like....


A old man bursts through the doors and starts shouting "Everybody, y'all better clear out o' here.  Big John's a comin' to town!!!"


Everyone in the saloon jumps up knocking over table...

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