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How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door? (What are your favorite musician jokes?)

The knocking gets faster as it goes on.



You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?

Pay him for the pizza!



Two drummers walk past a bar...



How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put ...

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. Sometimes it takes one. Sometimes it takes a Zildjian.

How do drummers brush their teeth?

With tooth Paiste

A good drummer, a bad drummer, a trumpeter and a clarinetist are standing im each corner of a football field

You throw $100 in the middle of the field. Who gets the money first?

The bad drummer. There are no good drummers, the trumpeter doesn’t move for just 100 bucks and the clarinetist didn’t understand the game.

What is a drummers favorite time of day?

12:34!

My family's favorite drummer jokes.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they have machines for that now.

What did the drummer say before he was kicked out of the band?

Hey, I thought I'd share some song ideas I've written.

How do you count drummers?

1, 2 ... 1, 2, 3, 4.

How do drummers ask if they can take a break?

It’s quite simple

“Hey, you guys think we can work on stairway to heaven for a bit?”

With all this quarantining we have to be especially careful of drummers

When this is over they’re gonna come out thinking they can play guitar and sing

Hey guys, let me know if you hear about any recently deceased drummers....

....No Rush....

How many jokes are there about drummers?

At least a zildjian

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb.

3. 1 to screw it in and 2 others to argue about how Neil Peart would have done it better

How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. Two. ...And a-one two three four!

What chairs do drummers use to drum in?

A rocking chair.

Drummers always have such lame jokes...

I've heard them all like a Zildjian times.

I was going to make a joke about drummers but, um,

tsss!

A bartender is thinking of closing early, it's been a slow day.

Just as he's about to start shutting down the bar and sending his staff home, the doors are flung open and a huge crowd of people flood inside. They're all singing and dancing, clearly in a celebratory mood, and it's all the bar staff can do to keep the beers flowing as the party atmosphere hits ful...

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummers car?

Take the Domino's sign off the roof.

Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that...

...my true love was arrested for human trafficking.

Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar. (Drummer jokes!)

How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
*The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know where to come in.*

How do you get the drummer away from your door?
*Pay for the pizza.*

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
*Gifted.*

Why did the bassist keep drumstick...

Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon?

Rattata

A band's drummer decides to quit

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out.


It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get g...

what's the name of those people who are frequently around musicians??

drummers

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