Divers

How do divers communicate? They use speech bubbles

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

Why don't Scuba Divers make good grades?

They are always below C level.

TIL why scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat.

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.

Please don't ban me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deep-Sea Diver

deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the ...

You can't have Juan ...

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answe...

A diver is applying a job

Hiring manager: what is your ability?

Diver: i can work under pressure

What is a diver's pet peeve?

The bends.

It really makes his blood boil

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn’t Bangkok.

What's the difference between a golfer and a sky-diver?





Golfer goes: \*Whack!\* "Dammit!"
Sky-diver goes: "Dammit!" \*Whack!\*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cletus gets his first job at a small town gas station.

One day, a big old station wagon with Texas plates shows up. He had never seen a car from Texas come in before, so he was impressed. He walks up to the driver’s side. In the front seat we’re two big cowboy looking dudes. The diver says “Fill er er up, son”. Cletus nods and heads towards the rear of...

Why'd the diver suddenly grab and ride the small whale?

I dunno, but he certainly did it on porpoise

Where do scuba divers go to relax after work?

Dive bars.

What was the last thing that went through the sky diver's mind when his parachute failed?

His feet.

A scuba diver bends into a bar

Sadly, he died.

Why did a diver that took a picture of fishes got arrested?

He shot a school of fish.

What do u call 11 divers and a net?

A soccer team.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.

I was in too deep.

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

A diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level when he noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, and minutes later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep with...

What happened to the divers journal?

It got waterlogged.

Skin divers

How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a blue whale

Four

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows


Yeah, I know it's old....

It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver

they're under a lot of pressure.

What's the name of the scared sky diver?

Hugo First

Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition?

He couldn't handle the pressure.

With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

What do you call a dog that can breathe underwater?

A Scooby diver

I often have wet dreams...

of becoming a scuba diver.

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