Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"...

Why do scuba divers dive into the water backwards?

If they dive front they would end up in the boat.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of boats?

Because if they fell forwards, they’d still be on the boat.

Divers

How do divers communicate? They use speech bubbles

A scuba diver bends into a bar

Sadly, he died.

What do you call a dog underwater?

A Scooby diver


*My seven year old asked me to post this here.

Why'd the diver suddenly grab and ride the small whale?

I dunno, but he certainly did it on porpoise

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

What's the difference between a golfer and a sky-diver?





Golfer goes: \*Whack!\* "Dammit!"
Sky-diver goes: "Dammit!" \*Whack!\*

Where do scuba divers go to relax after work?

Dive bars.

How do you circumcise a whale? (Not sure if this is NSFW)

You send down four skin divers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a youth who lived in Russia.

He was orphaned at the young age of 5. He only had one mother, Mother Russia. With no one to take care of him, he was left to fend for himself. He was poor and worked in the coal mines, to earn a mediocre salary to last him a day or two.

One day after a hard day at work, he walked down a si...

What is a diver's pet peeve?

The bends.

It really makes his blood boil

What was the last thing that went through the sky diver's mind when his parachute failed?

His feet.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn’t Bangkok.

A young man named Theseus moves to a lakeside fishing village looking for work

When he arrives, he finds one of the residents, Justin, is interested in going out and seeing the world, and wants to sell his fishing boat to fund that trip. Thinking that it might be a good way to make a living, Theseus buys the boat and spends the next few years learning the trade, establishing a...

Why did a diver that took a picture of fishes got arrested?

He shot a school of fish.

What's the difference between an astronaut and a deep sea diver?

The pressure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between

An epileptic clam diver and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic clam diver Shucks Between Fits

What do u call 11 divers and a net?

A soccer team.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.

I was in too deep.

Deep Sea Diver

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a moment later.

The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behi...

What happened to the divers journal?

It got waterlogged.

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

What did the Thai soccer player say to the rescue diver?

I didn't want to follow the coach but I eventually caved in

Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school?

Because he was always below a C

It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver

they're under a lot of pressure.

With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deep Sea Diver

A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear.

He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him.

He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment...

Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition?

He couldn't handle the pressure.

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows


Yeah, I know it's old....

What's the name of the scared sky diver?

Hugo First

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber penises, floated in the vicinity.

The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the ocean, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.


"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
...

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