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Diver Jokes

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

Divers

How do divers communicate? They use speech bubbles

So, why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shai is excited for his trip to Mexico because he is an avid SCUBA diver.

When he goes, he finds a company that can take him to the reefs and links up with a dive leader. While on the boat preparing their tanks, the leader begins talking him about the different types of animals that they will see. Since the both of them will not be able to communicate verbally, the dive l...

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

One goes, "*Whack!* Damn." The other goes, "Damn! *Whack.*"

Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition?

He couldn't handle the pressure.

Why don't Scuba Divers make good grades?

They are always below C level.

A diver is applying a job

Hiring manager: what is your ability?

Diver: i can work under pressure

What is a diver's pet peeve?

The bends.

It really makes his blood boil

Deep Sea Diver

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a moment later.

The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behi...

What is one phrase you can’t tell a sky diver?

If at first you don’t succeed, try again.....

How does a blind sky diver know when they're about to land?

The leash goes slack.

Why'd the diver suddenly grab and ride the small whale?

I dunno, but he certainly did it on porpoise

A scuba diver bends into a bar

Sadly, he died.

Where do scuba divers go to relax after work?

Dive bars.

What happened when the pilot pulled a prank on the sky diver?

The skydiver fell for it!

scarlet johansson

There’s an airline crash in the Pacific. The only two survivors are a young man, Steve, and an unconscious young woman.

Steve finds the young woman clinging to a piece of debris. He tows her to a small, deserted atoll.

The young woman does not regain consciousness for a week. In the me...

Skin divers

How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a blue whale

Four

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.

I was in too deep.

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

What's the name of the scared sky diver?

Hugo First

What was the last thing that went through the sky diver's mind when his parachute failed?

His feet.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn’t Bangkok.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deep Sea Diver

A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear.

He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him.

He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment...

Why did a diver that took a picture of fishes got arrested?

He shot a school of fish.

What do u call 11 divers and a net?

A soccer team.

It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver

they're under a lot of pressure.

Why are divers always so nervous?

Because they're always under pressure!

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows


Yeah, I know it's old....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Shark and his Son

A shark and his son are swimming around in the water when they see some scuba divers.
The young shark says to his father, " let's go eat them".

The father tells his son, " this is not the way of sharks. First we swim around them three times, then we eat them"

The son asks, " why ...

What did the Thai soccer player say to the rescue diver?

I didn't want to follow the coach but I eventually caved in

With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

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