Why scuba divers always flip backwards when jumping from boat in water?

Because if they flip forward they would still be in boat.

Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off a boat into water?

Because if the fell forwards theyd land in the boat.

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

A diver is applying a job

Hiring manager: what is your ability?

Diver: i can work under pressure

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How many skin divers does it take to circumsize a whale?

4 skin divers!

How does a blind sky diver know when they're about to land?

The leash goes slack.


How do divers communicate? They use speech bubbles

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"...

A scuba diver bends into a bar

Sadly, he died.

What's the difference between a golfer and a sky-diver?

Golfer goes: \*Whack!\* "Dammit!"
Sky-diver goes: "Dammit!" \*Whack!\*

Why'd the diver suddenly grab and ride the small whale?

I dunno, but he certainly did it on porpoise

Did you hear about the diver who died after Netflix and chill with a whale?

In his defense, it ain’t called a blowhole for nothing

Where do scuba divers go to relax after work?

Dive bars.

What do you call a dog that can breathe underwater?

A Scooby diver

What is a diver's pet peeve?

The bends.

It really makes his blood boil

What was the last thing that went through the sky diver's mind when his parachute failed?

His feet.

I often have wet dreams...

of becoming a scuba diver.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn’t Bangkok.

My best friend

Was standing at the top of an apartment building contemplating suicide and a lot of people where trying to help him and so was I. I told him to pretend to be an Olympic diver but unlike the Olympics you get more points for splatter.

What's the difference between an astronaut and a deep sea diver?

The pressure.

Why did a diver that took a picture of fishes got arrested?

He shot a school of fish.

What do u call 11 divers and a net?

A soccer team.

What do you call a priest on a submarine

A holy diver

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I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.

I was in too deep.

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There was a youth who lived in Russia.

He was orphaned at the young age of 5. He only had one mother, Mother Russia. With no one to take care of him, he was left to fend for himself. He was poor and worked in the coal mines, to earn a mediocre salary to last him a day or two.

One day after a hard day at work, he walked down a si...

A young man named Theseus moves to a lakeside fishing village looking for work

When he arrives, he finds one of the residents, Justin, is interested in going out and seeing the world, and wants to sell his fishing boat to fund that trip. Thinking that it might be a good way to make a living, Theseus buys the boat and spends the next few years learning the trade, establishing a...

Deep Sea Diver

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a moment later.

The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behi...

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

What happened to the divers journal?

It got waterlogged.

Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school?

Because he was always below a C

With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

What did the Thai soccer player say to the rescue diver?

I didn't want to follow the coach but I eventually caved in

It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver

they're under a lot of pressure.

A scuba diver is bobbing around on the surface,

waiting to be picked up by the support boat. The boat approaches and the diver swims towards the ladder. Suddenly, there's a huge commotion, the diver is thrashed back and forth like a rag doll, the water looks like it's boiling and then starts turning red as the rest of the diver group and crew on ...

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows

Yeah, I know it's old....

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Deep Sea Diver

A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear.

He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him.

He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment...

Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition?

He couldn't handle the pressure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between

An epileptic clam diver and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic clam diver Shucks Between Fits

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