UPJOKE
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Companies that consider themselves modern often have a “diversity officer”. Why is that role always done by a woman?

Because it is cheaper.

A jew, an episcopalian, a veterinarian, a hipster, a redneck, a goth, and a frat boy all walk into a bar that promotes diversity

The bartender says "sorry, we have enough whites."

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the movie execs when he found out they wanted more racial diversity in the Terminator movies?

I’ll be black.

I'm going to teach you how to speak Irish in the spirit of diversity.

Say, "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly.


Bonus: for Australian say, "Good eye might."

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In the South, we value diversity.

We want you to feel included, whether you're homophobic, Islamophobic, or just a racist.

Diversity is good for the workplace

For instance, she is the best dancer at our local strip joint.

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I got fired for not embracing diversity enough

Showing my pornhub search history didn't help.

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If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars..

I still wouldn't give a shit.

Cannibals

Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity. "You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees....

Why are diversity officers in progressive companies always women?

Because it is cheaper.

I don’t get how people have problems with diversity in Lord of the Rings

Legolas has been an arrow ace the whole time.

I was at a scholarship ceremony, and after listening to awards given for diversity, I left the room, crying. When someone asked me if I was okay, I responded....

"I'm all-white."

What's the least diverse profession in the country?

Chief diversity officer

Santa Claus had started feeling like he was losing some of his mojo at one point...

... so in recent years, he had taken to periodically stopping during his annual Christmas Eve present run to take in words of wisdom from spiritual leaders from various backgrounds all over the world, hoping that someone could re-ignite that spark for him that made Christmas special.

Eventual...

I got sent to a diversity workshop, when asked what diversity meant to me

I replied, to me diversity means a lot of different things

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What’s does a Harvard applicant and a Pornhub applicant have in common?

Prentending to be bi for diversity points

In the 90s, it had become pretty hip to include just one or two minorities in a Hollywood movie.

One studio always put just one Black guy in each of their movies as a diversity hire. You know, the clerk at a convenience store, some guy in the background, one of the protagonist's lesser of many friends. Someone who wouldn't get a lot of screen time, would probably die first.

During a 1994...

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In the Catholic Church, Priests of any race, color or ethnic origin are disallowed from sexual intercourse

Celibate Diversity

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Nazi's fight a lot of adversity.

*Diversity*. Sorry, typo.

What do you call an underwater town made up of multi-ethnic scuba instructors?

diversity

Some actors are famous for playing the same role in multiple movies, but none so much as Lee Navarre.

Lee Navarre had starred in a couple of low budget films like Greta's Gallery and Fisherman Flanagan, but no one really took note of him till he was seen in the first movie of the mystery series "When Midnight Chimes". As we all know, it was an instant hit and Navarre gained a lot of critical acclaim...

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My...

Three men are looking for somewhere to have a drink.

There are three beverage stands. The lemonade stand, the iced tea stand, and the fruit punch stand. As it’s a hot summer day, the men agree to quench their thirst and decide which stand to go to.

The first man says to the other two, “Because I’m thirsty and behind on my citrus intake, I’ll be...

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How many kinds of people?

(Inspired by the joke "there are 2 kinds of people, those who say there are 2 kinds of people and everyone else)

An interfaith conference is held on diversity. An attendee from each religion addresses their view on the kinds of people in the world.

An atheist rushes the podium and says...

The missionary was in Africa working with this isolated tribe...

The missionary was in Africa working with this isolated tribe for two years.
One day he wakes up to sticks poking him and sees himself surrounded by members of the tribe who lift him violently and bring him to the chief.
"For what you've done, you're going to die!".
Confused, the missio...

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A scholar and the village drunkard gets into a friendly competition of who's smarter...

The people gather at the field outside of the village waiting for the showdown to take place.

The scholar says, "The rules are simple, we both will communicate each other without using words. Once one person cannot interpret the other, he loses."

The two met in face to face while othe...

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