What do you call a snorkel that thinks it is a scuba suit?

Self
Proclaimed
Underwater
Breathing
Aparatus

I'm going to open up a store that only sells two bed covers and two snorkels.

Just four sheets and goggles.

My local coastline has been so overfished that during 30 minutes of snorkeling I saw only a single fish.

It was the sole survivor.

What do you call a Great Dane wearing a snorkel?

Scuba-Doo!

Have you ever stopped and realized drinking water through a straw is . . .

the opposite of snorkeling.

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