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Disciplined Jokes

My father was very disciplined and my mother was very graceful

I guess that's what makes me such a disgrace

Discipline is about having the strength to do something that you do not want to do. To keep at a task for long periods of time even when its unpleasant. Even when it hurts. I am one of the most disciplined people I know.

For example, I don't want to get fat.

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Mind Control

In a small town, people became increasingly unhappy with the mayor's administration. Sensing the people's disgruntlement, the mayor started to get worried about his post. He called for the council meeting to address this growing problem. The council agreed that it's mostly because people are not obe...

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So my friends and I were talking about our parents...

...And how we were disciplined as children back then.

I started, saying, "My parents used the belt, I really learned my lesson then."

One friend says, "Yea? I was given the hanger. It sounds a lot more painful then it does."

Another friend joins in, "I bet that's not as painful...

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Jhonny worked for the mafia and received a promotion...

...to be part of the Boss' security detail. He was assigned to patrol the interior of the Boss' house.

The Boss' daughter saw the fresh meat and wanted a piece of that. She called him into her room and they started to make out. Right when things were getting good the Boss entered the room and...

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A man buys a female parrot from a store for cheap, but soon discovers there's something wrong with it

All it says all day is 'Fuck me!' 'Fuck me!' 'Fuck me!' He locks it in various places, but it's extremely loud and the noise penetrates: 'Fuck me!' 'Fuck me!' 'Fuck me!' By now he can't sleep at night and the neighbours are getting annoyed too. He's about to lose hope when a priest from the nearby ...

Meditation

[A bit dry : p]

One day, as he did everyday an old yogi was meditating in a cave.

A hungry traveller passing by noticed him in the cave sitting by a fire.

The traveler hoping for a bite to eat shouts into the echoing cave "Hello there!!"

The yogi being very disciplined, k...

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International Police Competition

The UN holds an international police competition at a national park somewhere in Europe. The participating countries are France, Germany, and Turkey. The competition rules are whichever national police team catches a wild rabbit in the forest in the shortest amount of time wins the grand prize.
<...

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The Secret of the Monastery

One night, a young man got lost in the woods while out hunting. As he walked to and fro to find a familiar landmark, he stumbled upon a very old and dreary looking building. He banged at the wooden double doors and called out, "Help please! I am lost! Could you help me?"

The door opened with ...

A 12 year old boy comes home early from the playground

and to his surprise when he enters his house, he hears loud moaning voices coming from his parent's room, in a confused state he quickly hides in his room. His father also comes home early, and the boyfriend of his mother comes running down and hides in the kids room as well.

Kid: It's reall...

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