What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day,
Anal sex makes your hole weak.
Edit: added “whole” Props to a fellow redditor for correction. u/rex-natchez!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!" officer laughs, saying: Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!"
"Bullshit! He just told me he is been digging a tunnel for months!"
A police officer pulled me over.
"Hello, there!" I said.
He said, "Sir, I'm almost certain I can smell alcohol on your breath. About 95%"
I said, "Correction, whiskey is about 40%"
My staggered into my house, sat down, and started sobbing.
(Edit: Title correction- My friend staggered into my house, sat down and started sobbing)
He said "Everyone keeps making fun of me. They say I'm fat, careless and that I don't think of anyone besides for myself! My landlord is so annoyed at my absent-mindedness, he's threatening to evict me! ...
A monk was selling flowers on the Playboy mansion grounds and no one but Hef could get him to leave...
Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Bill Nye's grandfather rented a tuxedo to attend a Rotary convention in Philadelphia. The tuxedo came with an untied bow tie and he didn't know how to tie it.
Just taking a chance he knocked on his hotel's next door and there was a guy there.
\- Excuse me, can you help me tie my tie?
\- Sure. Just lie down on the bed.
The grandfather wasn't sure what he was getting into, but he wanted to have the tie on.
So he lay down on the b...
Most people don’t realize how similar the jobs of dentists and correction officers really are.
They both mainly consist of cavity searches.