UPJOKE
adobe systemsadobe bridgemaskthomas knolljohn knollraster graphicsduotonespot colorvector graphicsraw image formatadobejpegsoftwarephotographyshopper

I called my cat Photoshop...



...but she reacts only to abbreviation.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

Why are Karens bad at photoshop?

Because they don't know how to use a mask.

If I photoshopped a medical license

Would that be a doctored image?

How to make Gnu/Linux run Photoshop?

You serve it WINE.

I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week.

Actually, it's turning 38. It just looks 25.

What's the difference between winter and Photoshop?

There is none. They're both frustrating and are more tolerable when you use a lot of layers.

15 year old sis of mine tried to show off her photoshop skills

I said it's just a minor editing

Yo mamma is so stupid...

She went to buy pictures at Adobe Photoshop

Which store do the Kardashians put most of their time and energy into?

Photoshop

My friend asked me if I were an "arr" pirate or a "yo ho ho" one

I told him I'm an "I'm not paying 600$ for Photoshop" type of pirate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a photoshopped image of the President naked?

FAKE NUDES!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend told me that i had the biggest penis she'd ever seen.

I finally put my photoshoping skills to work

My sister said she wanted to be a model

I told her that it would take 20 minutes in photoshop minimum

You were so beautiful,

until your 30 day trial of photoshop ended.

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who was made homeless by a bug in Photoshop?

He has no fixed Adobe

Teach a Redditor to Fish

Teach a Redditor to fish, and he’ll catch it, photoshop the mouth, and post it in DontPutYourDickInIt

So I guess there was this rancher who was growing a really weird breed of cattle.

They were a really vivid blue green color.  No one could believe it... They thought he was airbrushing them or painting them or using Instagram filters or photoshop.

Finally an fda inspector--Neal Beal was his name--wanted to go out to the ranch and see for himself whether these cows were re...

Doctor: "Your x-ray showed a broken rib...

... but we fixed it with Photoshop."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of the...

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