UPJOKE
optic nervecataractcataractsdiseasepupilirisepilepsyhypertensionaqueous humorscoliosisblindnessdiabetesosteoporosisulcersarthritis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Called in sick to work, told the boss i have Anal Glaucoma. He said "whats that?"

I said "It means i can't see my ass coming to work today"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rectal Glaucoma

One morning, a man calls his boss to tell him he'll be out sick. The boss presses for specifics, and the man says, "Sir, I have rectal glaucoma." "And what does that mean?" asks the boss.

The man replies, "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today."

Optometrist

After several months of “gentle encouragement” from my partner, I finally went to see the eye doctor.

First she did a pressure test, blowing a puff of air into each eye and carefully observing my responses on a monitor.
Then she examined each eye with the little hand-held lights.

Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has glaucoma of the ass

A man is just wrapped up in his blankets in bed without a care in the world when the phone by his bed starts ringing. Begrudgingly he answers it.
"Hello?"

"Yeah hi, hello! This is your boss and you're seriously late for work. When the hell are you gonna come in?"

"I'm sorry boss but...

My Asian eye doctor

Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Calling In Sick

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she's not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What in the hell is anal glaucoma?" he inquires.

"Well, I just can't see my...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boss calls an employee who didnt show..

Employee picks up the phone and the boss said "Get your ass to work!". Employee said "I cant boss I got anal glaucoma" boss replied with "What the hell is that". Guy said "Dont see my ass coming into work today".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I dare someone to pull off this joke IRL.

A manager calls one of his employes because he is very late for work.
The employee picks up the phone. The boss enquires, "John, why aren't you at work?" John responds, "I have a medical condition." Concerned the manager asks, "What is it?" John replies, "I have anal glaucoma." The manager respo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.