Glaucoma Jokes - 9 Hilarious Glaucoma Jokes

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Rectal Glaucoma

One morning, a man calls his boss to tell him he'll be out sick. The boss presses for specifics, and the man says, "Sir, I have rectal glaucoma." "And what does that mean?" asks the boss.

The man replies, "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today."

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Anal glaucoma

Called the boss and let her know I was just diagnosed w anal glaucoma and wouldn’t be in. She asked what that was. It’s when I just can’t see my ass coming into work.

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Anal glaucoma

Guy : Hey boss. I need to take the day off.

Boss: Whats going on?

Guy: I think I have anal glaucoma

Boss: Anal glaucoma?

Guy: Yeah, I just cant see my ass coming in to work today

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A man has glaucoma of the ass

A man is just wrapped up in his blankets in bed without a care in the world when the phone by his bed starts ringing. Begrudgingly he answers it.
"Hello?"

"Yeah hi, hello! This is your boss and you're seriously late for work. When the hell are you gonna come in?"

"I'm sorry boss but...

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Jerry's boss called him, "You were supposed to be in the office an hour ago. What's the deal?" Jerry replied, "I think I've got rectal glaucoma."

"Rectal glaucoma‽" his boss shouted in disbelief, "What the hell is that‽"

Jerry explained, "Without going into too much detail, it basically means I can't see my ass comin in today."

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Calling In Sick

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she's not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What in the hell is anal glaucoma?" he inquires.

"Well, I just can't see my...

My Asian eye doctor

Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my e...

Optometrist

After several months of “gentle encouragement” from my partner, I finally went to see the eye doctor.

First she did a pressure test, blowing a puff of air into each eye and carefully observing my responses on a monitor.
Then she examined each eye with the little hand-held lights.

Th...

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I dare someone to pull off this joke IRL.

A manager calls one of his employes because he is very late for work.
The employee picks up the phone. The boss enquires, "John, why aren't you at work?" John responds, "I have a medical condition." Concerned the manager asks, "What is it?" John replies, "I have anal glaucoma." The manager respo...

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