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Hormone Jokes

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme. (Credit to Dorothy Parker.)

Female hormones in a beer

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

How do you make a hormone?





Don't pay her......



I'll see myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you tell the sex of a hormone?

Take its genes off

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

I've never made a vitamin.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't go downtown and pay $80/hour to make an en zyme

I’ve discovered that alcohol contains female hormones

After drinking you can’t drive, you never stop talking and have to sit while peeing.

What do you get if you give growth hormones to an ant?

Tolerance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Before I started hormones I wasn't fussed about having boobs

But now they're growing on me

What happens if you take cat hormones?

You get fur balls

Beer contains female hormones

Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

(A) The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Estrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

(B) To test...

How do you make a hormone?

Don’t pay her!

A very worried woman ................................

went to the doctor’s to complain
about the male hormone she was having to take.
“Oh doctor, I’m growing hair in all sorts of places.”
“Don’t worry, that’s not unusual in a case like this. Where in
particular is the hair?”
“On my balls,” she replied

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently Beer Contains Female Hormones:

After you drink enough.

you cannot drive:

Or shut the fuck up:

What hormones does a fish use to swim in a house?

Indoor Fins

My doctor gave me a prescription for this new hormone replacement therapy.

Turns out it also helps with toothaches. It's trans-and-dental medication.

A Women was prescribed male hormones

for a rare heart condition. After a few weeks, she became concerned about some side effects she was experiencing.

"Doctor," she said, "the hormones are helping my heart, but I am afraid that you have given me too much. I am starting to grow hair in places I have never grown it before."...

What's the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can't make a chromo-some.



*Sorry if this is a repost, my son told this to us at the dinner table.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you make a hormone?

You fuck her hard.



No idea if it's been posted before, so sorry if it was. Heard this from a friend. If you don't get the joke, read it slowly.

How do you make a hormone?

You pay her.

(This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)

Beer has female hormones

Whenever I am drinking I talk too much and can't drive a car.

What is the name of the hormone secreted during copulation with an ex-lover?

Toxitocin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that beer contains female hormones?

It's true. You drink too much you get fat, get emotional, talk too much, cry, and you can't drive a car.

All apologies to the fairer sex.

Whats the difference between enzymes and hormones?

I've never made an en zyme.

there'r female hormones in beer

So I found out there'r female hormones in beer, cause when you drink beer you argue over trivial things, you don't make any sense, you start to cry and you can't drive anymore.

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