UPJOKE
capillaryheartarteryveinbloodoxygenpulmonary arteryvesselbloodstreamnervous systemhuman bodyserumbloodthirstytissueship

If you took all of the blood vessels in your body and laid them end to end across a football field

you would die.

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Did you know if you took all the human blood vessels and layed them out end to end

You would go to prison and they would make a documentary about you. You sick fuck

What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it?

A carroted artery.

Fun fact: if you take a man, remove all of his blood vessels and lay them out end to end...

He’ll die

A lot of blood is moved by ships everyday.

After all, we have blood vessels for a reason.

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The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

Did you hear about the boat full of gang members?

It was a blood vessel.

I failed my medical school entrance exam because of nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

What kind of ship does a vampire like?

A blood vessel

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

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What do you call a used Tampon floating down a river?

A blood vessel.

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3 Sides to the Story

God tells Saint Peter," Peter, John's taking a break. I want you to go the Pearly Gates and ask every new incoming soul for their story of their death, you should have the information on their lives and how they were in their files, and follow the guidelines to let the men into heaven."

Peter...

A cardiologist, a psychologist, and a civil engineer are out golfing

The cardiologist pauses and says, "You know, the more I think about it the more sense it makes that God must have been a cardiologist. Look at our anatomy! Look at our hearts and all of our blood vessels perfectly moving blood through the body! I don't see how anyone but the best cardiologist cou...

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