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Did you know if you took all the human blood vessels and layed them out end to end

You would go to prison and they would make a documentary about you. You sick fuck

Humans have a great mass of blood vessels.

In fact, if you stretched them all into one long line,
the human would die.

If you took all the blood vessels in someone's body and laid them end to end along the equator

That person would die.

Fun fact: if you take a man, remove all of his blood vessels and lay them out end to end...

He’ll die

A useless blood vessel is found dead

It died in vein

What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it?

A carroted artery.

A man walked into a bar...

he then had to go to the emergency room because the force trauma of the bar to his head caused a blood vessel to burst in his brain.

RIP jimmy.

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The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

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A carpenter quits his job and becomes a detective

Two other detectives on the force decide to see how far they can go before the new guy cracks and decide to take him to a grisly post-mortem.

The ME pulls the sheet off the corpse to reveal his totally naked body and the ex-carpenter seems slightly shocked, the two detectives grin, this might...

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What do you call a used Tampon floating down a river?

A blood vessel.

What do vampires cross the sea in?

Blood vessels.

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

What did Dracula name his new boat?

The Blood Vessel

When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math...

...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world.

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