Deux Jokes

...before it cinq.

"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.

"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.

"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.

"Won," radioed the American sub.

The English cat, because the Un, Deux, trois cat sank.

The two cats come to a river, only one survives the crossing. Which one survived?
One Two Three because the Un Deux Trois quatre cinq.

Unfortunately, only One-Two-Three cat made it across. Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.

One-Two-Three and Un-Deux-Trois started to argue about who would be able to swim to the other side of the river faster, so they decided to have a race.

It was a very close race, but in the end One-Two-Three won because unfortunately Une-Deux-Trois quatre cinq.

A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"

An English cat named “OneTwoThree” and a French cat named “UnDeuxTrois” decided to swim across the lake, but only one cat survived the journey. Which cat made it?

OneTwoThree, because UnDeuxTrois cat sank

C’est croissant!

Well, since the passing of the armless man, the priests continued their search for a new bell-ringer. Again, no candidate quite had what it took.

Nearing the end of the day, one more man stepped forward and said, "Hi, my brother died here yesterday, and I was hoping I could take his place to ... read more

'One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.

Un-deux-trois cat sank

The English cat's name was One-Two-Three, and the French cat's name was Un-Deux-Trois. They both swam as fast as they could across the Channel, but in the end, the One-Two-Three cat was declared the winner because.....

the Un-Deux-Trois cat sank! (quatre cinq)

After a grueling competition, One-two-three won after Un-deux-trois quatre cinq.

One day, the two cats came across a wide river. On the other side, there seem to be an endless amount of cat food. So, both of the cats wanted to swim across.

One two three cat made it across, but un deux trois quatre cinq.

one-two-three-cat wins

une-deux-trois-cat-cinq

Well, un deux trois quatre cinq.

Britain and France. Forever mortal frenemies. The rivalry goes back over 1000 years. One of the biggest sticking point has always been the channel. Is it the British channel or the French? In order to show how one country was superior in the rivalry every 100 years the 2 countries would hold a cross... read more

There was a cat race

The cats were

1. one two three, an American cat
2. uno dos tres, A Spanish cat
3. une deux trois, A French cat

The three cats were in a water race, whoever gets to the end of the lake first, wins. the results came in and...

The American cat c... read more

They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux Trois". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. Af... read more

And another called une deux trois.
After many years of consideration, they decide to brave the swim across the English channel to visit Paris.
Two days go by, and noone has heard from either feline. Their friends in England are starting to give up hope, when they receive word that 1,2,3 has su... read more

The first cat’s name was “One Two Three.”
The second cat’s name was “Uno Dos Tres.”
The third cat’s name was “Un Deux Trois.”

The official fired his revolver and the cats began swimming across the lake!

The first cat to make it across the lake was Uno Dos Tres!

The second ... read more

The first cats name is One, two, three, while the second cats name is Un, deux, trois. Which cat makes it to the other side of the lake?

One, two, three makes it across because Un, deux trois, quatre, cinq.

This is by far one of the worst jokes I've ever heard and you can only underst... read more

The Disney Princesses had cats. Tiana's was named One, Two, Three, Snow White's was Eins, Zwei, Drei, and Belle's was named Une, Deux, Trois. They decided to put the cats on rafts and race them.

Tiana and Snow White's cats made it to the end, but Belle's died because

Une, Deux, Trois,... read more

Kim Jong-Deux

So it turns out there were these two cats, an English cat called One-Two-Three and a French cat called Un-Deux-Trois. One sunny day in Dover the two cats happened to meet and soon discovered that they had very similar names.

Being cats, they had to determine which was the better cat. They dec... read more

... by making two cats swim across the river. The first cat to get to the other side wins the war for his country. English cat’s name was OneTwoThree and French cat’s name was UnDeuxTrois. OneTwoThree won the competition because UnDeuxTrois cat sank.

3 cats, named un, deux, and trois, go fishing together. They head out for the sea in their fishing boat but they never return. What happened to the 3 cats? Well un, deux, trois cat sank.

Kim Jong Un got cloned.


What will we call him, asks the scientist ?


"Kim Jong- Deux" replied his French assistant.

One of them is called "One Two Three"
The second is called " Un deux trois"
The third is called "Ein zwei"
What is the order of them crossing?

So One Two Three gets to the other side first because the Un Deux Trois cat sank.

But the Ein Zwei cat is still drei because it has a ... read more

Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Deux and Kim Jong Trois

I can't wait to meet Kim Jong-deux.

Their names? Kim-Jong Un, Kim-Jong Deux and Kim-Jong Trois.

(I'm sorry if not original it just came to me)

Kim jong-deux

So, England and France have a friendly contest to see which country is superior. They do this by having a cat race, in which the French cat, 'Un Duex Trois, and English cat 'One Two Three' will race across the channel.

The race starts and One Two Three cat speeds across the water, easily winn... read more