I saw a picture online that had Dre, Seuss, and House cropped into the background.

Clearly it had been doctored.

So..the wife and I were in town shopping....

..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.

I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
...

Babies are the opposite of cell phones.

When grandparents are holding children there's no explaining how to play the preinstalled games.

Peekaboo doesn't have a 15 page TOS.

I held my baby up to take a picture and got cropped into Lion King by a Facebook friend.

There's no vomit emoji on my cell phone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man who’s lucky number was 5.

John was born on the 5th of May in 1955, at precisely 5:55 am, when his parents were both 55 years old. He lived on the fifth floor of an apartment, 5 hours away from his school.

As he grew up, the number five cropped up in his life in weird and wonderful ways. He was five minutes late to eve...

The farmer thought the picture showed too much land...

...so he cropped it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I uploaded a picture of our newborn baby to Facebook.

I probably should have cropped out my wife's vagina.

Back in the pioneer days...

A couple traveling west saw an old Native American man with his ear pressed to the ground, unmoving. As they approached, the man's eyes slowly opened and he said:

"Large wagon train. Fifty wagons. Lead cart has team of five horses. Half wagons covered, half not. Cart in middle have chip in wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes for 2/15

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

In New York City, Justin Bieber posed for a photo with cops after he picked up their check at a diner. The officers quickly posted the photo to social media, right after they cropped out Justin Bieber.

In Pennsylvan...

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