Farming Jokes - 17 Hilarious Farming Jokes

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

I tried to start farming crows, until I was arrested.

They charged me with attempted murder.

A Swedish Farming Village in 1265...

...is facing a crisis. They haven't had any rain in almost 2 months. All of their crops are dead or dying, and many of the citizens are starving.

One day, Sven comes bursting into his kitchen, scooping his wife Helda into his arms and dancing with joy.

"Sven! What's gotten into you? Wh...

Hobby farm (long)

A city couple, Jim and Fiona bought a small farm to retire on, complete with four cows, but no bull. They wanted the cows to have calves, but couldn’t justify the expense of buying a bull when they only had four cows. As luck would have it, the farmer down the road ran a stud and had prize bulls. Ji...

Farming experiment

A poultry farmer walks into a bar and orders a white wine spritzer. "Hey Bob," the bartender says. "How's your chicken cross-breeding experiment going this week?" "Pretty good," the farmer replies. "I crossed a chicken with a duck. Now I have a chicken that lays down."

How do you know if someone is just farming for karma?

They only post on their cake day

What’s the most terrifying word in experimental nuclear physics?

Oops!

(Shameless karma farming on cake day)

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas…

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy from the city decides to move to the country and take up farming

He goes to his first livestock auction and wins a bid on a male and female chicken. The seller says "You just moved from the city, right? If you want to fit in around here, you can't call these 'chickens'. This one is a cock, and this one is a pullet. By the way, if you want, I can sell you an ass -...

The once was a poor Irish farming family.

Their soil was so poor they mainly grew dirt. They also had a milk cow and what a cow it was. It gave a lot of milk and excellent milk it was. The family sold the milk to buy food and that's what kept them going.

One day the father came outside and saw the milk cow was dead. Not knowing what ...

Farming

A city banker gets fed up with his immoral career so sells up and buys a pig farm in Suffolk with his wife.

He moves in and next day goes to buy a few sows and a boar. 'How will I know the sows are pregnant?' he asks the seller.

"Ah, well, the morning after, the sows be lay...

What did the chicken do when he went to the farming convention?

He put on ranch dressing.

\[should be original by my son\]

What is the best part about farming?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

Why is rabbit farming a terrifying profession?

Every day is a hare-raising experience.

What's the difference between a good sound system and farming for upvotes?

One is a Harman Kardon and the other is a karma hard-on.

Farming karma on my cake day: Two goldfish are in a tank, and one says to the other....

Do *you* know how to drive this thing?

A young boy was obsessed with farming machinery

A young boy was obsessed with farming machinery, he built models, he drew them, and spent all his free time going to his local farm just for a look at a combine harvester or a hay baler.

As he aged, his interest in mechanised agriculture slowly disappeared, and by the time he was married with...

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