UPJOKE
ranchagriculturedairylivestockvineyardfarmerdairy farmorchardcattleplantationpastureruralcropfarmyardagricultural

I tried to start farming crows, until I was arrested.

They charged me with attempted murder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Names usually come from an occupation of a distant ancestor. Smith comes from blacksmithing. Lyman comes from farming Lye. Miller comes from a guy who works at a mill.

So what the fuck is up with Dickinson?!

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

A Swedish Farming Village in 1265...

...is facing a crisis. They haven't had any rain in almost 2 months. All of their crops are dead or dying, and many of the citizens are starving.

One day, Sven comes bursting into his kitchen, scooping his wife Helda into his arms and dancing with joy.

"Sven! What's gotten into you? Wh...

I’ve always loved farming, and farmers are some of the most loving people.

There has always been an innate desire in me, and I believe in all humans, to begin farming at some level. From being outside to doing labor where your mind can wander into different places, I love it.

I have never considered myself a big animal person, but I’ve fallen in love with horses, s...

What's the difference between a good sound system and farming for upvotes?

One is a Harman Kardon and the other is a karma hard-on.

Farming karma on my cake day: Two goldfish are in a tank, and one says to the other....

Do *you* know how to drive this thing?

I can’t think of a single good thing to post on my cake day.

I guess I’ll just have to dessert my karma farming plans.

What do you call a farming simulator

eie.io
(Idiotic I know)

What’s the most terrifying word in experimental nuclear physics?

Oops!

(Shameless karma farming on cake day)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke I heard in middle school [1990] and is still funny

A man gets sick of the rat race and decides to retire to farming. Goes to farmer's market to buy livestock. Goes to buy a hen. Seller says, 'Here ya go but here in the country, we call that a poullette (pullit). Man says, 'Okay.'

Man Goes to buy a rooster. Seller says, 'Here in the country...

Farming experiment

A poultry farmer walks into a bar and orders a white wine spritzer. "Hey Bob," the bartender says. "How's your chicken cross-breeding experiment going this week?" "Pretty good," the farmer replies. "I crossed a chicken with a duck. Now I have a chicken that lays down."

The once was a poor Irish farming family.

Their soil was so poor they mainly grew dirt. They also had a milk cow and what a cow it was. It gave a lot of milk and excellent milk it was. The family sold the milk to buy food and that's what kept them going.

One day the father came outside and saw the milk cow was dead. Not knowing what ...

Why is rabbit farming a terrifying profession?

Every day is a hare-raising experience.

I’m sick and tired of all these people farming karma on their cake day.

Anyways, an upvote would be appreciated.

What is the best part about farming?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

A man walking sees a farming trying to push his pig up in a tree

He shakes his head at the strange sight and continues his walk to town and finishes his errands and begins his walk home.
On his way back he spots the same farmer still struggling to get that same pig up a tree.

After watching this strange behavior for a few minutes, he calls out to the fa...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.