Why doesn't Cookie Monster have good internet privacy?

He always accepts the cookies.

Cookie Monster was so traumatized the other day.

He had nom flashbacks.

Cookie monster was happy lighting Elmo's girlfriends cake

Until he noticed there was only 3 candles

What did the Cookie Monster say after eating all the anesthia at the dentist's office?

"NUMB NUM NUMB NUM NUMB NUM"

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

It was a dark time on the street.

War had come to Sesame Street. Big Bird lay bleeding with a piece of shrapnel sticking out of his side. As he lay there. Oscar the grouch came over to speak with him.
Oscar: How are you doing general bird?
Big Bird: Never mind that now commander what is the letter and number of the day?
Osc...

My 3 year old daughter as a pink fairy princes

To my wife: “I’ll make you a queen!”
To me: “I’ll make you a cookie monster!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If ass tasted like cookies, would you be willing to eat ass?

Maybe, but you’d never be able to look the same way again at Cookie Monster.

A nom nom nom nom.

A bartender is cleaning some glasses when a pair of blondes walk in...

...and he watches as they sit down at a table together.
He gets their orders but as he walks away he hears them chant, "Fifty-one...fifty-one...fifty-one..."

A few minutes later, a couple of more blondes join them at the table. Getting a bit rowdier with more drinks, they begin to chant l...

32 Days

A bartender was working at his bar, when in walks 3 blondes. They seem very happy and excited. They are carrying a small picture and are chanting "32 days", "32 days", "32 days". Obviously very please with themselves, they sit down and order a pitcher of Margareta, that the bartender brings them. Af...

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