I was recently asked who my favourite vampire was. I said, “the muppet from Sesame Street.”

They told me, “He doesn’t count!”

I replied, “I assure you, he does.”

A Sesame Street treat...[this joke sucks]

"Ernie, do you want some ice cream?"

"Sherbert."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caesar and Brutus are on sesame street

Count von Count asks Caesar, "Do you know how to count to one hundred?"

Caesar says "Yes, I will show you how!"

So Caesar starts counting "One, two, three..."

As the numbers get higher more and more characters are appearing around Caesar.

"Sixty- seven, sixty-eight, six...

Who else thinks it's time we called Sesame Street out for what it really is?

Show of hands

What kind of cake do you get on Sesame Street?

A Bert-day cake!

Why couldn't Big Bird hang out with the sesame street gang?

Because he was ostrich-sized...

Why is it called Sesame Street?

They couldn't call it Thyme Square.

What’s the Republicans’ most hated Sesame Street character?

The Count

I think that one puppet from Sesame Street is my favorite vampire ever.

Some people claim he doesn't count, but I'm certain that he does.

Why did Trump visit Sesame Street?

He wanted to stop The Count.

President Trump should go on Sesame Street to explain his actions.

It’s important in times of crisis to hold politicians to account

I'm surprised Metallica hasn't been on Sesame Street,

After all they are the Master of Puppets.

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar.

I heard Oscar the Grouch was getting kicked off of Sesame Street.

Apparently he was trash talking the other cast members behind their backs.

Word on the sesame street is...

The cookie monster's a real macadamia nut.

The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years

But I finished it in 18 months

A terrorist starts a hostage situation on Sesame Street

The terrorist is on the phone with the hostage negotiator, who asks him how many hostages the terrorist has.

The terrorist says: "I gotta count".

The Senate committee just released a report about the Cold War.

They found that in response to Sesame Street promoting friendship, racial equality, and care, the CIA captured the Count and forced him to run through truckloads of rice.

While discussing horror movies, my friend asked me who my favorite monster from film is.

Me: "Hmmm that's a tough one. I think I'd have to go with the vampire from Sesame Street."

Friend: "What!? He doesn't count."

Me: "Oh I assure you, he does."

It was a dark time on the street.

War had come to Sesame Street. Big Bird lay bleeding with a piece of shrapnel sticking out of his side. As he lay there. Oscar the grouch came over to speak with him.
Oscar: How are you doing general bird?
Big Bird: Never mind that now commander what is the letter and number of the day?
Osc...

A group of blondes walk into a bar,

all of them chanting "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They got a table and continued to yell "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They started hooting and high-fiving each other as well. Intrigued, the bartender walks over to the table and sees a finished child's puzzle with Sesame Street's El...

And the bus driver's name is Mac.

A man got a new job driving a school bus. When he went to pick up the keys, the man behind the desk slammed them down and said, "Bus #1. Has a Big Bird picture on the side."

The man got in his bus and drove to the first stop. He picked up one boy, who immediately introduced himself. "Hi! My...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

......he kisses his wife goodbye. He’s nervous about the new job and not sure if it’s for him.

He’s assigned his bus, and as he walks up to it, he notices that it has a big promotional for Sesame Street on the side. “Great,” he thinks, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was out of work...

A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sesame Street Bus

A guy gets a job as a city bus driver. After going over his route, his supervisor tells him about the buses advertisement. "This week, it's a sesame street ad. Do not let these ads get damaged as you make your way through the city. We make a lot of money from these companies and we want it to look g...

So Jan gets a job driving a school bus.

The first day of school, Jan is given the bus she's to drive. She's driving an elementary-school route, so the inside of the bus has been decked out with Sesame Street characters; muppets pasted on every wall. Jan shrugs and gets started on her route.

The first kid is a super fat little girl...

2 Cops.

Cop 1: Hey, we have a B&E case, let's go investigate.

Cop 2: *GAAAAASSP* Bert & Ernie?! My 2nd grade best friend shaved his head once and got to meet them. I never saw him again so I shaved my head hoping that I could live at Sesame Street too.

Cop 1: *facepalms* He was a Make-...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave starts a new job as Bus Driver

Dave was starting a new job as a bus driver. He arrived at the bus depot and they told him he would be driving a bus with a "Sesame Street" advertisement on the side. He found this kind of amusing, and started his shift.

At the first stop, he picked up his first passenger. It was a fat woman....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.