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Opium Jokes

The cultivation of opium and domestication of the horse are almost synchronistic.

Meaning people have been on horse, in every modern sense of the term, for about 5000 years.

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The Taliban are banning opium and will be growing olives instead.

For the extra virgin.

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Did you hear about the Japanese poet who smoked a boatload of opium and overthrew the shogun?

They called it a high coup.

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Someone told me opium was made out of ground rooster beaks.

But that's poppycock.

I heard that Chinese opium is so strong that it can kill you.

No wonder it's a drug for youth-in-Asia.

When Karl Marx was a young philosophy student, he took it upon himself to travel across the country to see the wide world and learn all that he could to develop his theories.

Hither and thither he would ride across the German countryside, in his little pony-cart pulled by a pair of strong, hardy donkeys, meeting people, studying their lives and professions, and seeking to understand the world.

A time came when he was high in the German mountains. Snow was thick ...

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A British Officer at a Frontier Post

In 1869, a young British officer, prim and proper, arrives at his new garrison post in the northwest frontier of British India. His commander gives him a tour of the somewhat dilapidated fort, and of its surrounding local villages.
"You see", says the commanding officer, "it's mostly camels ...

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Jesus meets Judas after the Resurrection: A Bible Story

After returning from the dead following his betrayal and crucifixion the first thing Jesus did was seek out Judas. Upon finding the distraught Judas contemplating how he'd use the fifty pieces of silver he received for his treachery Jesus said,

"Look man no hard feelings I know this disciple ...

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A man dies and goes to hell

and this demon starts showing him around; you know, the pool, the hotel, whatever. They get to talking, and the demon asks:

Hey, do you like to drink?
The guy answers "Ya, I love drinking"

The demon replies: You're going to love mondays. On monday, we drink from morning to night. We...

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