This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are standing outside a jewellery shop looking at an expensive ring in the display window

The first man says, "That ring is perfect for Karen. I just wish I could afford it."

The second man says, "I was planning on proposing to Julie soon. She'd love that ring."

The third man says, "Okay, I'll make you both a deal. Whichever one of you gets to the bottom of the street first...

What did the redditor say after robbing a jewellery store?

Edit:OMG thanks for the silver

Edit 2:WTF OMG thanks for the gold

EDIT 3:OMFG THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE PLATINUM

An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at o...

Did you hear that Superman is going out with a woman who swallows jewellery?

I don't know what he sees in her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store.

She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right ...

What do Reddit users say after bombing a jewellery store?

Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was teaching his wife golf...

The wife struck the golf ball so hard that it went to the neighbours house and they heard a crash like it broke something.

Embarrassed and apologetic, they go over to the neighbours house and let themselves in.

They see a broken vase on the ground and a man standing near it.

...

Have been putting 3.14 on pieces of jewellery.

Pioneering work, I think you'll agree.

Just found out my wife's credit card was stolen! They are spending it all on jewellery and casinos!

But I wouldn't report it because they are spending less than my wife.

Why do women wear jewellery?

So they are worth something!!

I hate going into jewellery stores with my girlfriend , all the staff always assume we're there for the engagement rings.

Mind you, the ski masks probably don't help.

I think the Chinese employer liked jewellery...

He asked me what I could bling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NO SEX TONIGHT!

I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example… One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

We...

Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.

he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.

One Friday, a boy takes a super hot girl to a jewellery shop and buys an expensive necklace.

One Friday, a boy takes a super hot girl to a jewellery shop and picks a diamond necklace worth $100000 for her.

The girl obviously felt awesome. Boy gave a check and said he will collect the necklace on Monday after the check clears.

On Monday the jeweler calls the boy: "There is no ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman complains about her Husband

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Would you remarry if I die?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course ...

Three American men are sitting on a beach in the Caribbean sipping their rum and they get to talking...

Soon they happen to inquire about each other's backgrounds.

The first man says, "I used to own a matchstick factory back in California. But one day there was a fire and the entire factory was burned to the ground. I collected my insurance money and decided to retire here in the Caribbean." <...

A thief entered a house one mid-afternoon to find...

a couple in the middle of lovemaking. He tied up the woman and at gun-point asked the man to handover all their money and jewellery. The man started sobbing and said, "Brother, take anything you want. But please, untie the rope and let her go." The thief replied, "You must really love your wife, hav...

Three men find themselves at a beach-side resort in the Caribbean...

... and they soon begin to discuss their lives and how they came to be there.

The first man says, "I use to run a successful business in the Mid West. One day unfortunately there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move ...

A blind man walks into a sculpture store.

He'd been planning a heist targetting the jewellery store beside it. Fumbling around to gain his bearings, he eventually comes into contact with a statue of a woman, to which he finally exclaims, "Well, this is a bust!"

A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike.

While taking a shortcut through a dark part of the park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.

They searched them and took the guy’s wallet, his watch and even the Motorbike, but couldn’t find any jewellery from the girl.

When the muggers had gone, the father asked his daughter, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a princess

who came of age, so her parents the King and Queen called for all princes to come and court her.

Day after day, each suitor came by, telling the princess what they would give her and why she should marry them. This went on for a few weeks, and the princess remained unsatisfied.

Sudden...

A couple had been out shopping for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had disappeared.

A couple had been out shopping for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had disappeared. She was so angry, she rang his mobile and asked, "Where are you?!" In a calm voice, he replied, "Darling, do you remember the jewellery shop we went into 5 years ago, and you fell ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do babies come from?

A little girl asks her dad "Where do babies come from?" and the dad explains to her "Well, babies are made when two people love each other and then the daddy puts his penis in the mummy's vagina."
The little girl then asks "If that is where babies com from then what does mummy get when daddy puts...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.