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Counterfeit Jokes

A couple of counterfeiters made a mistake one time and ended up with a batch of $15 bills

One of them says "We gotta get rid of these things. We'll go to Florida. I know a little town there. They're so dumb they won't know a thing."

So off they go. Soon they arrive at a gas station and buy some gas. The guy at the counter looks a little simpleminded.

"Hey can you break a 1...

Counterfeiters

Two counterfeiters were working on making some fake bills starting with $100’s. One of the plates slipped without them noticing, and printed out a whole run of $18 bills.

Instead of wasting them, they decided to head south to see if they could pass them off, thinking that locals wouldn’t kno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cashier: that’ll be $19.99

Me: *pulls out a $50*

Cashier: sorry we’ve been having problems with counterfeit money… Have anything smaller?

Me: Sure! *pulls out a $30*

Due to an increase in popularity, koi farmers are discovering an increase in counterfeit fish.

They’ve begun using a lettered grading scale:

As are the most rare of purebred koi’s

Bs are the more common variety purebred koi’s

Cs are mix/hybrid koi’s

Everything else are D koi’s

A friend of mine called and asked for $500 to pay the rent.

Yesterday a friend called & asked if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent. I wanted to be helpful to someone in such need. I told her, let me check my account & l will call you right back. Before I could double check, her sister calls & says, "Don’t give her any money because s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five people have been found guilty of conspiracy to supply millions of pounds worth of counterfeit Viagra.

The judge described them as hardened criminals

People who make counterfeit batteries....

Belong in cells

So a guy was making counterfeit money and accidently prints $21 bills.

He decides he could go to a small town gas station where the cashier isn't too bright and see about exchanging them for real cash. He gets there and asks the cashier for his change and the cashier responds "Not a problem. Do you want 7 - $3 bills or 3 - $7 bills?"

Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation

Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.

I wanted to buy a new car but I’ve read that there are a lot of counterfeits on the market nowadays

Guess I’ll just keep my Honda Prius then

Boss asked me to buy counterfeit detector pens...

I said I’ll just get the real ones.

A forger was arrested and thrown in jail for making counterfeit money

Later, a reporter visited his cell for an interview and asked him “Why did you make counterfeit money?”

The forger thought for a while before he replied, saying “Because making real money is impossible.”

What are German counterfeit Adidas shoes called?

They’re of course derdiedas. >!Cue in Americans not getting the joke!<

I read an article that said over half of the paintings in the National Gallery are counterfeit.

It was fake news.

I joined a crime syndicate that steals and counterfeits valuable art

I don’t like what they do, I’m just in it for the Monet

How does the German counterfeiter take his bourbon?

On Xerox.

What do you get when you mix divorce checks with counterfeit money?

Aliphony!

I've heard counterfeit money is a huge problem...

So I've been making my own money to be sure that it's real.

I was duped into buying counterfeit The Who merchandise.

Won't get fooled again!

What do you call a counterfeit cow?

Sham moo.

I want to be a counterfeiter when I grow up!

I hear they make good money

Officer: You're under arrest for using counterfeit bank notes

Me: *Slides a crisp £17 bill* How about now eh?

I'm a professional counterfeiter.

Look, I even have the documents to prove it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and an anorexic prostitute?

One's a phony buck.

A man counterfeits $18 bills...

...and needs to get rid of them, so he takes a trip through rural Iowa. Coming to a small general store at a remote crossroads, he goes in and asks the old man behind the counter if he would please break his bill. The old man replies, "Sure, would you like 2 nines or 3 sixes?"

Whats the difference between a counterfeit bill and a skinny girl?

One is a phony buck.

I was just on my way to a fancy dress party in my counterfeit money costume, when someone came along and ruined my plans.



I got held up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An individual walks into a restaurants, orders and eats his meal

"That'll be $13.45." says the waiter.

The individual pulls out a $50 bill.

"Sorry, we've had issues with counterfeit money lately. Do you have any smaller bills?" asks the waiter.

"Sure, no problem.." The individual pulls out a $25 bill, pays with it and leaves.

Change for a $15 bill

An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Medical joke...

I work in medicine and I've been getting a lot of emails and messages about counterfeit drugs coming into America. Apparently some medications are being sold in America that were made in backwoods factories and third world countries. The latest message I got from the FDA was to be on the lookout f...

Correct Change

Two counterfeiters are making some fake bills. They've had a few drinks, so quality control is a little off. They accidentally make a whole stack of $15 bills.

"What the hell are we gonna do now? We wasted all this time and resources making these" one of them says.

"I know", ...

If i had a dollar for every good joke posted on r/jokes...

... I'd have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

Credit to u/maxline388

I before e

Except for when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

Today I gave a homeless person a warm new home..

I gave him counterfeit money to buy food which got him arrested.

Now he's got a warm jail and free meals twice a day.

A woman walks into a bar

She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.

The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing ...

Holiday scams

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and hands over a few singles to pay for it. The bartender picks up the $1 bills and carefully scutinizes them, holding them up to the light. "What are you doing?" the guy asks. "There's a new scam going around this holiday season," the bartender replies. "People...

A man walks into a grocery store

After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $5...

Those Tennessee Boys Are Stupid

So these counterfeiters make a mistake and print a load of $15 bills.
The head man says "No problem. We'll take these bills down to Tennessee. Those hicks won't know the difference. We'll swap out the bad bills for real money."

So they head down to Tennessee and stop at a small general st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OC. A sad bartender walks into a bar...

A sad bartender walks into a bar and orders a drink. The man behind the bar pulls out a towel, starts cleaning the counter and asks the bartender what's wrong. The bartender says he was scammed and given counterfeit bills and his dick hurts. He's a tender bartender with a tender bar in a bar with il...

Bad money

What is the difference between an angry rabbit and a counterfeit dollar bill?

One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.

(OC) I started stealing granite tops from peoples kitchens and replacing them with fakes...

I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.

(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)

$8 Bill

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway, so he went to the bank and asked for change.

The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

If I had a dollar for every dollar I had...

I would be a counterfeiter.

My father always told me it isn't real money if you don't make it yourself.....

of course that was before he got arrested for counterfeiting.

Oldie but still good...

This seems to fit here:

Some sub-par counterfeiters discovered that their latest run of bills were all $18 denominations. They realized that they couldn’t pass them off in the city so they headed out to the hinterlands to try and pass them off.

They stopped at a backwoods general stor...

A proxy examinee was caught

Right after a college entrance test, police arrested a college student who was taking the test for someone else. But everyone is puzzled as the procurator's scores were only 15 out of 100. Turns out, he had recieved a million bucks in advance and was ready to flee after the test. At the police stati...

An old friend called asking to borrow $350 that way she could pay her rent before Christmas.

I told her I’d have to check and see how much I had in the bank and I’d call her back.

A few moments later her cousin called and asked if I’d heard from barb.

I explained she had called asking for money to pay for her rent.

Her cousin said that she was lying that the money sh...

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