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Completes Jokes

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An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration.

He brings out two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water and an earthworm. He pours one glass with water and the other with whiskey. He then drops the worm into the bottle of water, where it wriggles around for a little while, but is ok.

He then picks it up and drops it into the whi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50....

*Reddit account completes one circle around Reddit's servers*

Redditors: Happy Cake Day!!!

A blonde gets a job at a Gas Station...

It is her first day, and her first customer drives to pump #1 in a red convertible. Super excited, she approaches the customer and says, "Hey, mister, would you like some gas?" The customer says, "Yes, that's why I am here," she immediately gets to work, filling the customer's tank.

While the...

My grandfather always told me "A marriage completes a man....

After that he is finished."

What does an evil genius say when he completes one of his diabolical schemes?

Done, done, donnnnnne.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Jonney comes down a staircase to eat breakfast

They live on a farm, and before he sits down to eat, his mother asks if he has done his chores.

"Not yet" said little jonney.

His mother tells him he can't eat until he completes his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks one.
...

Goku gets into a car accident

and has to be rushed to the E.R. He has a piece of shrapnel stuck in his arm and is in extreme pain. He gets to the front desk and yells at the nurse "Help! I'm in extreme pain! I have shrapnel in my arm!"

The nurse looks at him calmly and says, "sure, but first you have to fill out this ins...

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