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Compares Jokes

My wife often compares me to Ryan Gosling.

She'll say "You're nothing like Ryan Gosling."

I just read a book that compares the different versions of The Bible.

There was a lot of…cross referencing.

I asked my horse who sang her favorite version of Nothing Compares 2 U.

She neighed.



(RIP)

Number 6 compares himself to number 8.

They're pretty even.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only thing that matters about penis size is how it compares to your significant other's past lovers.

It's the theory of genital relativity.

Kanye West compares himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs.

Apparently none of them could sing, either.

Next time someone compares Trump to Mussolini, remind them of the biggest difference.

Mussolini was well hung.

I'm struggling to think of a name for this new app that compares acid and mushrooms.

Sadly "Tripadvisor" is taken

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The children in Africa

When I was young and I wouldn’t eat my food, my mom would always tell me to think about the children in Africa and how they’re starving.

Being a good and impressionable kid, I really took her words to heart and made it an objective of mine to help these poor kids. Today I work as a volunteer...

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