I used to rip off famous comedians' jokes to post on Reddit for easy karma.
I still do, but I used to, too.
Why do people with no arms make bad comedians?
Because they haven't got a funny bone in their body.
What's a comedians favorite wrestling move??¿?
The Knee Slapper
The weirdest thing happened today when I visited an American prime time tv studio. There was a blocked off zone guarded by police with signs saying “no comedians allowed, untalented people only”.
I was surprised to see they’d Cordened off the area.
What do comedians eat for breakfast?
I simmered ten comedians in water for 6 hours.
and made a laughing stock.
What do chiropractors and comedians have in common?
They both crack people up.
I was shipping comedians across the countr but it took to long
They said it was bad timing but great delivery
A lot of comedians these days have a major issue with 'woke' people
Bill Cosby, for instance...
Teacher asks students for their favourite stand up comedians
Students start naming their favourite comedians.
Then one kid says : Joe Biden.
Another kid follows with : Donald Trump.
Political debate starts. When the teacher finaly quiets down the class there is only the person who didn't say who their favourite is, is the quiet kid. ...
Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve?
Waiting for the punchline.
A rookie comedian asks an experienced comedian how he manages to cater his jokes toward his audience.
The comedian gives the newcomer a slip of paper with a website url. “This is a forum for comedians where they trade jokes. It’s perfect to find the right joke for the right occasion.”
So just before his first gig at a tailors convention, he looks up “jokes for tailors” on the forum. He manage...
I wanna become a musical comedian
Sadly, none of my jokes are noteworthy...
Comedians like Chris Farley and George Carlin were so good, they're a national treasure
Well, they used to be anyway
Now they're just buried treasure
A group of comedians walk into a bar and take their seats at a table.
One of the comedians says, “Five!” And they all burst out laughing.
Another shouts, “Eight!” And they continue cracking up.
“Nine!” “Twelve!” Twenty two!” Soon, all of the comedians are laughing so hard it draws the attention of the bartender.
“What’s this all about? Why are yo...
Why do late night comedians skew left wing?
Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A comedian is in the dressing room of a comedy club when he sees this guy sitting in the corner...
He wonders why the guy is there but thinks nothing of it. Before the first comedian goes on stage, he approaches the guy in the corner and whips out his dick. The guy in the corner jerks him off real quick, then pulls up his pants and goes on stage.
One by one, each of the other comedians in ...
Politically correct people are great comedians
Even when they say something's not funny people keep laughing
Comedians tell better jokes when they’ve taken drugs.
It’s always funnier when they crack themselves up.
It’s a little known fact that surgeons are actually really good comedians
They always leave their patients in stitches!
Comedians have decided to take covid 19 more seriously
From now on they’ll only be telling inside jokes