UPJOKE
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What do Irish people call a Dwayne Johnson impersonator?

A Sham-Rock

My wife is leaving me for a being an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator. However...

...I knocked up the maid.

When I asked her why she was still dating that scruffy Elvis impersonator

She said, "I'm courting a tramp. I can't walk out!"

I have begun identifying as a Michael Jackson impersonator

My pronouns are now hee/hee

What do you call a pessimistic horse impersonator?

A nay-sayer.

Did you hear about the lawyer who moonlights as a U2 impersonator?

He calls himself Pro Bono.

What do you call a Snoop Dogg impersonator?

Faux Shizzle

[OC] I once came across a traveling impersonator...

I talked with him for a couple minutes, then he shook my hand and left. He said he had people to be and places to see.

Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.

It was a roaring success.

What do you call an Arab Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup

I'm having mixed feelings about being a Michael Jackson impersonator.

On one hand, you get to wear a cool white glove.

On the other hand, you don't.

What do you call a racist Matthew McConaughey impersonator?

"Alt right alt right alt right"

I've decided to become a professional Jeffrey Epstein impersonator, don't try to talk me out of it!

I know it is career suicide.

How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One for the money, two for the show.

I booked some Star Wars impersonators for my son's birthday, but I've just had a phone call saying that their people carrier's broken down.

All I know is that they're in a Galaxy far, far away.

Pick-Up Line Comebacks

Man: "Haven't we met before?"Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pick-up Line Put-Downs

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been ...

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