This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to watch a standup comedian who kept making stereotypical Jew jokes towards me...

I was so upset I demanded a double refund

My friend wanted to be a standup comedian

But couldn't, because his legs are paralyzed

Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian.

They're not laughing now.

It must be tough being a standup comedian these days....

Because of the quarantine, they can only tell inside jokes.

The standup comedian

As a standup comedian, I am prohibited from telling any jokes involving chairs.

Lie Down Comedian

Two wives meet for coffee. Says one wife about her comedian husband: "He really sucks as a standup comedian but he's awesome as a lie down comedian" Asks the other wife: "What do you mean?" Says the first wife: "He's a real joke in bed."

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