I went to watch a standup comedian who kept making stereotypical Jew jokes towards me...
I was so upset I demanded a double refund
My friend wanted to be a standup comedian
But couldn't, because his legs are paralyzed
Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian.
They're not laughing now.
It must be tough being a standup comedian these days....
Because of the quarantine, they can only tell inside jokes.
The standup comedian
As a standup comedian, I am prohibited from telling any jokes involving chairs.
Lie Down Comedian
Two wives meet for coffee. Says one wife about her comedian husband: "He really sucks as a standup comedian but he's awesome as a lie down comedian" Asks the other wife: "What do you mean?" Says the first wife: "He's a real joke in bed."