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Richard Marx was a famous singer in the 80s

But did you know his sister, Onya, invented the starter pistol?

When Karl Marx was a young philosophy student, he took it upon himself to travel across the country to see the wide world and learn all that he could to develop his theories.

Hither and thither he would ride across the German countryside, in his little pony-cart pulled by a pair of strong, hardy donkeys, meeting people, studying their lives and professions, and seeking to understand the world.

A time came when he was high in the German mountains. Snow was thick ...

Why does Karl Marx hate Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did Karl Marx’s toilet play music?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern

Communist puns are great and all, but too many of them are just replacing the word "marks" with "Marx."

If you want to be original, you should really approach them from some different Engels.

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, She invented the starting pistol.

Groucho Marx

I would not belong to any club that would have me as a member

Why did Karl Marx only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

One nudist turns to the other and asks "Have you read Marx?"

The other replies, "*Yes it must be these old wicker chairs*"

Two old men sat in a library and one asked the other have you read Marx?

I think it comes from sitting on these wicker chairs for too long he replied

Why does Marx like geometry so much?

Because of all the ENGELS

Why was Karl Marx buried at Highgate Cemetery?

Because he was dead.

The reason why Marx never finished college

There was a class conflict

Two history professors are visiting a nudist camp.

"Excuse me," says one to the other. "But have you read Marx?"
"Yes, the second replied. "I think it's these damned wicker chairs."

I went to a Soviet drycleaners but didn't have the right money

They said they'd do it cheaper but I'd have to wait a while.

I had to ask them to quit Stalin, Putin a few Roubles and get these Marx off my Lenin.

Groucho Marx joke

“We’re gonna build an eye and ear hospital. It’ll be a site for sore eyes”

A rich man visits Karl Marx as he's writing the Communist manifesto.

He asks: "So what's in that book of yours, Mr. Marx?"

Marx replies: "None of your business."

Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

What do you call a Communist snipet?

A Marxman

Two guys walk into a bar

A philosopher and a physician walk into a fabulous tiki beach bar in Florida and both order drinks. After a while the philosopher addresses the physician, "Have you read Marx?" The physician replies, "Yes, I blame these wicker bar stools."

What does Karl Marx, a bus driver and a sous chef at a 5-star restaurant have in common?

Everything, if Marx had his way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Shinto Priest was walking by a member of the Japanese Communist Party holding a copy of the Marx's Manifesto

He pointed at the guy and shouted: "What are you, a kami?"

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

Karl Marx as a student

In University, Karl Marx's Political Economics professor noted that every day, the young man would get up halfway through class and walk out, which caused a good deal of disruption. The professor quickly grew tired of the daily distraction, and so one day, as Marx stood up and prepared to leave, the...

An old Groucho Marx Joke

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Apparently, Marx was right about religion being the opiate of the masses.

I just heard someone on the radio talking about mainlining Protestant churches.

Karl Marx's Grave

It's just a Communist plot

I'm a big fan of Karl Marx's books, and if that makes me a communist;

Then So vie It

Why was Marx bad at dating?

He only talked about seizing the means of production.

What’s Karl Marx’s favorite measurement of time?

Hours

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

Groucho Marx is on TV, interviewing a woman with 14 children

— My god, that’s a lot of children! How can you do this?

— I love my husband a lot…

— Lady, I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!

What do you call a Soviet sniper?

A Marx-man!

In University I was doing a 'Degree In Communism' . . . but had to drop out after the first year . . .

. . . lousy Marx

Karl Marx dies and stands trial before St. Peter.

St. Peter: "The ideas you preach have brought misery to billions. I send you to the deepest pits of Hell!"

After a few months Satan calls God:

Satan: "God, please remove Marx from my realm as soon as possible."

God: "Why would I do that? He is a sinner, his fate is to burn in H...

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

Two Kids Play the Karl Marx Arcade Game

They have nothing to lose but their change.

Carl Marx grave attacked with a hammer.

Makes me sickle

a kindly but unsophisticated trash friend of mine appreciated a midlife introduction to marx, commenting "religion the opiate of the masses?...

'pretty sure opioids are a solid lock on the opiate of them masses."

My pet was reading Carl Marx

It's a commyleon

Communists make the best snipers

They're natural Marx men.

Groucho Marx once said:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.

I like my weekdays like Marx likes his societies.

Classless.

Why was Karl Marx against Chinese mutes?

Because he hated the Bù shuō!

What do you call a communist doing yoga?

Stretch Marx

What are Communists born with?

BirthMarx

Karl Marx passed away and went to hell...

After some days, Lucifer, caretaker of the hell met with Angel, who take care of Heaven. Yes, they meet sometimes in the corridors of heavenly worlds! Today Lucifer was gloomy. When Angel asked about his sadness, Lucifer replied. "There is a new guy in hell named Karl Marx. He created all kinds of t...

How do you tell how good a Soviet soldier can shoot?

...his marxmanship.

I scored extremely well on my socialist exam last week.

I got top Marx.

Why Don't Communists Like School?

Because they have always get bad Marx.

Why did Lenin mark the names of traitors with ? at the end

Because they question Marx

Why is the stoner communist always top of his class?

Because he gets high Marx

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

I studied communism at school

Got nice Marx

Hello welcome to today’s Communist marathon...

On your Marx....

Communist puns aren't funny

Unless everyone get them.

(I need full Marx for this one)

What did the person who found Stalin dead after suffering from a stroke say?

That’s gonna leave a Marx

Did you hear about the communist sniper?

He was a real Marx man

What do you give a stoned communist who did well on a test?

High Marx

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How five Jews changed the way we see the world:

Moses: "The Law is everything"

Jesus: "Love is everything"

Marx: "Money is everything"

Freud: "Sex is everything"

Einstein: "Everything is relative"

Why did everyone hate communism?

I'd give it full Marx

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