I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night.
I ended up dying inside.
A woman comes home to her husband, upset and bawling her eyes out...
Her husband, who's having a chat with one of his mates over a coffee, takes his shirt and vest off, gives the woman a box with some colouring stuff in, and she calms down and begins to draw Noddy in wax on her husband's right scapula.
The husband's mate looks bemused and asks the guy what she...
Did you hear about the man who overdosed on food colouring?
... he died
They said swallowing food colouring is dangerous.
That’s because it might make you dye.
Somebody stole all the books in the White House
Donald was fuming he hadn't finished colouring them in
Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?
Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is? He didn't even finish colouring the second one.
A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella
She notices Jerry colouring his duck blue and asks "where did you see a blue duck?" He replies "where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Bad Dad Panda Joke
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"