The man who invented distorted mirrors has died.

His funeral will be held in asymmetry.

Sod's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Moore's law: The complexity of integrated circuits doubles every 24 months.

Campbell's law: The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processe...

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Accidental Exposure

A man is walking down the street on a nice Spring day, casually gazing into the many shop window displays. Suddenly, he notices a woman walking in the opposite direction, and as she gets closer he notices that one of her breasts is hanging out of her blouse. She seems oblivious, and the man is in tw...

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Religion is a bit like porn.

You know deep down it’s all lies but you still buy it.

It’s a multi-billion dollar industry making a few people very rich.

It distorts reality, inciting desires it never satisfies.

AND the scripts it’s based on leave allot to be desired.

Twin sisters just turned 100 years old

Twin sisters just turned one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter," told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin bitteys.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could h...

The World Expert on Wasps

A man was walking down a quiet street, when something caught his eye in the window of a charity shop. He wandered over to take a closer look, then smiled to himself, nodded, and entered the shop.

He walked up to the counter and said to the man serving there, "Is that record in the window real...

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If Dr. Seuss wrote instruction manuals.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-...

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African, Mexican, and Asian Guy are Kidnapped

One day, an African guy, a Mexican guy, and an Asian guy are kidnapped. In a Saw - esque means of communication, (An old, staticy TV with the kidnapper speaking with a distorted voice and mask), the kidnapper says,

"Today I'm feeling rather unorthodox, if each of your dicks lengths, when add...

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