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Codes Jokes

Everyone knows Alan Turing, who cracked Enigma codes.

But nobody knows his sister Kate, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

Why does the Norway Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian!

Edit: whoops I meant Norwegian Navy

Edit 2: Thanks to commenters I have links to other people who have posted this joke! I haven’t been around very long so I didn’t know, go give them an upvote as well if you’d like!

2015:...

Why do they have bar codes on the returning Swedish fleet?

So they can Scandinavian.

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandanavian.

Tank tops shouldn't be against school dress codes

After all, we have a right to bare arms.

The Pentagon is in the middle of switching up their nuclear codes..

They want them to be longer, in order to make them more secure. It’s not because they’re worried about spies cracking the codes. It’s just that they want them to be over 140 characters so Trump can’t tweet them out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorilla walks into a bar in Manhattan

The bartender gives the gorilla a craft beer menu (without the fucking QR codes). The gorilla points at a particular summer ale, with hints of lemon. The bartender nods, and tells him what a great choice that is.

A few minutes later, the bartender serves the gorilla this tasty craft brew, an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s all about the dress codes.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Ghurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a ...

Telegraph Operators once complained to Morse how some of his codes were confusing and needs to be revised.

But he had no remorse.

TEXTING for over 70s,The kids have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the more mature...

ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? ...

A journalist asked a master programmer how he codes so fast.

"No comments."

Why don’t they need dress codes in Kentucky?

They already have the same genes.

Why was the crash test dummy put in charge of the nuclear launch codes?

They are great at demonstrating restraints.

They should hide the nuclear codes from Trump by putting it somewhere he would never look

In a book for example.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We don't have to worry about Trump having the nuclear launch codes.

His hands are too small to push the button.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It really annoys me when Americans act like they cracked the secret of Nazi codes when they took the Enigma machine off U-751.

Whoops, wrong sub.

I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far.



He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of years now and hasn't tweeted them yet.

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