What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

β€œDo these genes make me look fat?”

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A single sperm cell has 37.5 MB of DNA information on it. That means that an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow

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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

What do you get when you cross human DNA with a goat?

Arrested and Banned from the petting zoo

Doc: I'm afraid your dna is backwards

Patient: and?

Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.

Coronavirus: AND?

I'm super-thrilled to announce that I am now a member of the DNA!

You know, the National Dyslexia Association!

Do you know what DNA stands for?

National Dyslexic Association

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My DNA tests came back. Turns out I'm mostly French and British.

No wonder I fucking hate myself.

Scientists are currently trying to combine Ephemeroptera and Anthophila dna, but will it work?

Maybee, maybee not.

Why couldn't the detective solve the Alabama murder case despite having the dna samples

It matched with everyone

I submitted my DNA to 23 & Me

They recommended I resubmit it to 24 & Me

DNA: ACG

RNA: No U

President Trump wakes up one winter morning and looks out the Whitehouse window to see the words "Trump sucks!" Written in urine in the snow.

Outraged, he tasks the Secret Service to find out who is responsible.

Later that day the director of the Secret Service comes into the oval office and asks, "Sir, we have an answer. Do you want the bad news or the worse news?"

"Give me the bad news."

"We got the DNA test back o...

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One ejaculation contains over 15000 gigs of DNA. So what does that make pornstars?

Fucking genuises

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

Once I took a DNA test.

It was pretty hard but I think I passed.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.

Guess my thymine was off.

Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.

Unfortunately the result was unbearable.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder?

Because the DNA is all the same and there's no dental records.

If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase...

So I could unzip your genes

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My ancestry DNA test shows 10% African, 20% Mexican, 40% Cuban, 5% Chinese...

Mom, what this even mean?

-Mom "a fucking great party"

What do you call a DNA test in Alabama?

Incestry DNA

What do you do when your DNA cookie is undercooked?

You make it CRISPR.

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

Do you know why there was no CSI Alabama?

Hard to write a plot when everyone around has no dental records and a matching DNA.

A man decided to get a DNA test

When the results came, he confronted his parents because he found they weren't his real parents.

His mom, shocked and confused, tried to understand what had happened while his father tried to calm her down.

"I thought you knew" said the father.

"What do you mean?? How was I supp...

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I'm 100%

going to jail for shoplifting.

Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA inside of a lot of Women.

Unfortunately, most of them spit it out.

What did Michael Jackson say when he found out he had Native American DNA?

Cherok-hee-hee!!

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Why does DNA never lie?

Cuz it can’t fucking speak

If you see a balloon on the street, pop it.

We can't let him get any more DNA bubbles.

How long do those mail in DNA tests take to receive back?

My son was born with a different skincolor than myself and wife. Just wondering what Recessive traits we're passed down to him. I mailed it off over 6 months ago and still no response....

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.

Turns out my dog licked my sample.

Scientists identified intelligent DNA in a blonde.

The highest concentration was found in the stomach.

how do you study for a DNA test?

highlight the answers with a genetic marker

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

When I was a kid, I googled 'DNA' to know more about it.

I was promptly directed to the National Dyslexic Association homepage

A home DNA test kit

does not make a good baby shower gift.

Once there was a foster kid named Jumprope

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

The patient goes to the doctor for a check up

The doctor says "i see the problem here, your DNA is backwards."


The patient then replies "AND?"

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?

They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

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