The 46+ Best Dna Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑

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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

Frog DNA...

A frog got his DNA test back.
He's part Scottish, part Irish and a tad Pole.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.

Guess my thymine was off.

I couldn't afford an Ancestry DNA kit...

So I just announced that I had won the lottery. I soon found out to all my relatives are.

Son: "Dad, did you get your DNA test results back?"

Dad: "Call me George."

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

You get kicked out of sea world…

Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards”

Me: “and?”

What do you get when you combine human DNA with seal DNA?

You get banned from SeaWorld.

What does DNA stand for?

National Association of Dyslexics

What do you get when you cross elephant DNA with Human DNA?

A lifetime ban from the zoo.

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

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A single sperm contains 37.5MB of DNA

Meanwhile ejaculation is equivalent to a data transfer of roughly 1,587.5TB. Now, that's a lot of information to swallow.

How does a DNA molecule moisten a stamp?

Helix it.

What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

Do these genes make me look fat?

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld

Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

What's the difference between DNA and a Hormone?

You can't hear DNA.

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My doctor scheduled me for a DNA Screening...

I was asked for a blood sample, stool sample, urine sample , and semen sample...

... So I gave them my underpants.

Why did the blonde ask for a DNA test on her new baby?

She wanted to make sure it was hers.

What do you call a man who invented DNA?

Gene

DNA results have finally came back

Turns out I’m the murderer.

Went to the doctor and they tested my DNA. He told me that my DNA is backwards!

I said, “AND?”

Why are murders in Kentucky so hard to solve?

Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

Scientists have conducted blood tests on a frog to extract DNA and confirm its identity.

They have discovered that the frog was:-
30% Russian
30% French
20% Italian
10% Spanish
5% British
4% Dutch
And a tad Pole...!

Why did the DNA chain blush?

It was part of his genetic makeup.

What do you get when you combine human DNA with whale DNA?

Kicked out of Sea World, apparently.

Yes, I know it's a repost. But I love this joke.

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One ejaculation contains over 15000 gigs of DNA. So what does that make pornstars?

Fucking genuises

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase...

...so I could unzip your genes.

A frog went for a DNA test...

The results came back 99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.

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Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed “Trump Sucks” in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.” “That traitor”, shouts Trump. “I’ll have him hang...

Why wife just had her myheritage DNA test back

Turns out she is a Karen...

She is on the phone with the company to complain about the results.

Humans share 70% of our DNA with zebrafish

So if you're having difficulty getting something done, it's probably because a zebrafish is using the DNA.

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I hear NASA wants to put the DNA of 6.7 million species on the Moon.

That's a pretty big cum shot if you ask me.

I used a sample of my DNA to create a clone, with whom I now cohabit. People often ask me whether I think it's unethical.

I tell them I can live with myself.

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I'm 100%

going to jail for shoplifting.

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.

Turns out my dog licked my sample.

Am I adopted?

Fred came home from University in tears.

"Mum, am I adopted?"

"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?

Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side o...

We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansas…

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Pole…

Beware of DNA tests!

In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, ...

A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.

When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.

Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.

... unfortunately the result was unbearable

What do diarrhea and DNA have in common?

They both run in your jeans.

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In case of any apocalyptic scenarios, scientists want to store the DNA of millions of species of animals and plants in lava tubes of the moon

The DNA of any illicit substances will be kept in Uranus

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

I once seduced a woman by telling her I'd sequence her DNA

but I stopped at first base when she told me what I'd find in her genes

My friends job involves cloning the DNA of trains.

But I just call him a genetic engineer.

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