What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

“Do these genes make me look fat?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA info.

So One ejaculation transfers 15,875 GB of data.

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association

Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"

Me: "And?"

What do you get if you mix human DNA with whale's DNA

Your mom

A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.

When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.

I once seduced a woman by telling her I'd sequence her DNA

but I stopped at first base when she told me what I'd find in her genes

The DNA Test

After 3 years, a wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: "Honey, I have something very serious to tell you."

Husband: "What's wrong?"

Wife: "A...

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

Banned from the zoo.

I just did a DNA test and found out I’m 50% vampire

I’m so bloody ashamed I can’t look at myself in the mirror.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed “Trump Sucks” in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.” “That traitor”, shouts Trump. “I’ll have him hang...

why is DNA evidence not permissible in Alabama court?

because its all the same anyway

My friends job involves cloning the DNA of trains.

But I just call him a genetic engineer.

What do diarrhea and DNA have in common?

They both run in your jeans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One ejaculation contains over 15000 gigs of DNA. So what does that make pornstars?

Fucking genuises

Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve?

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

Missed my Cake Day but here's a terrible joke (I think) I came up with.

The whole world was in shock last year when Will Smith was found dead. The police suspected foul play but closed the case due to lack of DNA evidence. We're hearing now though that the investigation is being reopened due to the discovery of fresh prints.








I'm sorry...

I'm super-thrilled to announce that I am now a member of the DNA!

You know, the National Dyslexia Association!

Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.

Coronavirus: AND?

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.

Guess my thymine was off.

Am I adopted?

Fred came home from University in tears.

"Mum, am I adopted?"

"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?

Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side o...

DNA results have finally came back

Turns out I am the murderer

They say science and religion don't mix

but without DNA we never would've caught these priests

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow...

Why couldn't the detective solve the Alabama murder case despite having the dna samples

It matched with everyone

Once I took a DNA test.

It was pretty hard but I think I passed.

I submitted my DNA to 23 & Me

They recommended I resubmit it to 24 & Me

Good news...bad news...

"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client.

"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."



"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholest...

Me and my girlfriend share everything

Even our DNA

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.

Unfortunately the result was unbearable.

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I'm 100%

going to jail for shoplifting.

If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase...

So I could unzip your genes

What do you do when your DNA cookie is undercooked?

You make it CRISPR.

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ancestry DNA test shows 10% African, 20% Mexican, 40% Cuban, 5% Chinese...

Mom, what this even mean?

-Mom "a fucking great party"

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.

Turns out my dog licked my sample.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does DNA never lie?

Cuz it can’t fucking speak

how do you study for a DNA test?

highlight the answers with a genetic marker

How long do those mail in DNA tests take to receive back?

My son was born with a different skincolor than myself and wife. Just wondering what Recessive traits we're passed down to him. I mailed it off over 6 months ago and still no response....

Scientists found intelligent DNA in a blonde.

The highest concentration was in the stomach.

A home DNA test kit

does not make a good baby shower gift.

Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA inside of a lot of Women.

Unfortunately, most of them spit it out.

When I was a kid, I googled 'DNA' to know more about it.

I was promptly directed to the National Dyslexic Association homepage

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?

They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.