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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

A frog took a DNA test

The results said he was 20% British, 30% French and a tad Pole.

What do you get when you combine human DNA with whale DNA?

Kicked out of Sea World, apparently.



Yes, I know it's a repost. But I love this joke.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, my DNA has been reversed.

Doctor: AND?

Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards”

Me: “and?”

Do you know what happens if we put human DNA in chimapanzees?

We get banned from the zoo.

We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansas…

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Pole…

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

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What do you get when you mix goat DNA and human DNA?

You get kicked the fuck out of the petting zoo, that's what.

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A single sperm contains 37.5mb of DNA information which means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 tb

That's a lot of information to swallow

What is DNA’s favourite piece of clothing ?

Jeans (genes)

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexia Association

Am I adopted?

Fred came home from University in tears.

"Mum, am I adopted?"

"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?

Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of ...

What do you call Michael Jackson's DNA?

Billie Genes

I used a sample of my DNA to create a clone, with whom I now cohabit. People often ask me whether I think it's unethical.

I tell them I can live with myself.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.

Guess my thymine was off.

You don't need an Ancestry DNA kit to find out who your relatives are.

Just tell everyone that you've won the lottery.

A frog went for a DNA test...

The results came back 99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.

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In case of any apocalyptic scenarios, scientists want to store the DNA of millions of species of animals and plants in lava tubes of the moon

The DNA of any illicit substances will be kept in Uranus

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I hear NASA wants to put the DNA of 6.7 million species on the Moon.

That's a pretty big cum shot if you ask me.

Why's it so hard to solve a redneck murder?

Cause the DNA's all the same and there ain't no dental records.

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

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What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?

Do these genes make my butt look big?

I'm super-thrilled to announce that I am now a member of the DNA!

You know, the National Dyslexia Association!

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One ejaculation contains over 15000 gigs of DNA. So what does that make pornstars?

Fucking genuises

A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.

When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.

Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.

... unfortunately the result was unbearable

why is DNA evidence not permissible in Alabama court?

because its all the same anyway

Why are murders so difficult to solve in Alabama?

All the DNA matches and there are no dental records

What do diarrhea and DNA have in common?

They both run in your jeans.

Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.

Coronavirus: AND?

I once seduced a woman by telling her I'd sequence her DNA

but I stopped at first base when she told me what I'd find in her genes

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Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed “Trump Sucks” in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.” “That traitor”, shouts Trump. “I’ll have him hang...

My friends job involves cloning the DNA of trains.

But I just call him a genetic engineer.

You’d think the Catholic Church would be more supportive of condom use...

Less DNA evidence.

Allergies

Did you know, allergies are your immune system treating a harmless substance as a big threat? To put it another way, it's in my DNA to be overly dramatic about things.

DNA: ACG

RNA: No U

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Did you hear about the new Nazi documents that have been uncovered?

They were conducting experiments involving mixing the DNA of electric eels, dogs, and captured British soldiers.

According to the plans they were quite eel-lab-brit.

Ps: sorry...

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

What do you do when your DNA cookie is undercooked?

You make it CRISPR.

Once I took a DNA test.

It was pretty hard but I think I passed.

Why couldn't the detective solve the Alabama murder case despite having the dna samples

It matched with everyone

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve?

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.

Turns out my dog licked my sample.

I took a DNA test

Turns out, I am 70% water and 2% milk

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I'm 100%

going to jail for shoplifting.

I submitted my DNA to 23 & Me

They recommended I resubmit it to 24 & Me

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My ancestry DNA test shows 10% African, 20% Mexican, 40% Cuban, 5% Chinese...

Mom, what this even mean?

-Mom "a fucking great party"

You might be a redneck if...

You keep swiping right on your Ancestry DNA matches

Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA inside of a lot of Women.

Unfortunately, most of them spit it out.

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