What does DNA stand for?

National Association of Dyslexia

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

What do you get when you mix human DNA and a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo...

How long do those mail in DNA tests take to receive back?

My son was born with a different skincolor than myself and wife. Just wondering what Recessive traits we're passed down to him. I mailed it off over 6 months ago and still no response....

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

What did one DNA strand say to the other?

Do these genes make me look fat?

Doctor: It appears that your DNA is backwards

Patient: And?

A man decided to get a DNA test

When the results came, he confronted his parents because he found they weren't his real parents.

His mom, shocked and confused, tried to understand what had happened while his father tried to calm her down.

"I thought you knew" said the father.

"What do you mean?? How was I supp...

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

Scientists found intelligent DNA in a blonde.

The highest concentration was in the stomach.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's **a lot** of information to swallow

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

A home DNA test kit

does not make a good baby shower gift.

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.

Turns out my dog licked my sample.

When I was a kid, I googled 'DNA' to know more about it.

I was promptly directed to the National Dyslexic Association homepage

Redneck murders are hard to solve..

There's no dental record and the DNA is all the same.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I once knew a scientist that tried to clone a donkey using his own DNA...

Everyone in his field said it couldn't be done. Needless to say, he made an ass out of himself.

how does a DNA molecule give oral?

helix it

Marvel are developing a new super hero who has the ability to remotely edit people’s DNA.

He will be called “Gene Hackman”

You know how cats always swat at each other for seemingly no reason? Turns out it's in their DNA.

I'm sure somewhere in their genome it reads CAT TAG

Did you know that if you laid out someone’s DNA end to end...

that you would be arrested for murder?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you

Husband: What’s up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid

Husband: Well you dont’t remember, do you??
When we were leavi...

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?

They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell

Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do sex and DNA replication have in common?

You gotta unzip the genes first.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If a sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA info and one ejaculation equals 15,875 GB of data, then why aren't we using sperm based hard drives?

Because once the data is released the hard drives revert to floppy dicks.

New DNA tests have revealed that Orville and Wilbur’s parents were actually Chinese.

So I guess that means two Wongs make a Wright.

If you genetically edit the DNA of lettuce...

... you can make it CRISPR

Not mine... I read it off Twitter

What's the similarity between DNA and diarrhea?

They both run in the genes.

Researchers used CRISPR to encode a movie onto DNA

Time to create some viral memes

Studies show there is actually intelligent DNA in women.

But unfortunately most of them spit it out.

TIL DNA was supposed to be a line

But things spiraled of control

Mummy DNA shows that the ancients don’t have much in common with modern Egyptians

But at least they have Tutankhamun

What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?

A strongly worded reprimand from the university's board of regents, and an immediate withdrawal of your funding.

Why are no murders solved in West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA and no one has any teeth.

CSI Alabama was a failure . . .

. . . all of the DNA is too similar and there are no dental records.

I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility.

After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in.

What is DNA's favourite clothing?


If you look at Chuck Norris' DNA under a microscope...

...you'll get a black eye.

What did the overly forward CRISPR/Cas9 say to the attractive strand of DNA?

"Hey girl. I can't wait to get into your genes."

What do you call emotions of a DNA?

Gene expressions