UPJOKE
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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

Frog DNA...

A frog got his DNA test back.
He's part Scottish, part Irish and a tad Pole.

Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"

Me: "And?"

What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

Do these genes make me look fat?

I couldn't afford an Ancestry DNA kit...

So I just announced that I had won the lottery. I soon found out to all my relatives are.

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

You get kicked out of sea worldā€¦

What do you get when you combine human DNA with seal DNA?

You get banned from SeaWorld.

What do you get when you cross elephant DNA with Human DNA?

A lifetime ban from the zoo.

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A single sperm contains 37.5MB of DNA

Meanwhile ejaculation is equivalent to a data transfer of roughly 1,587.5TB. Now, that's a lot of information to swallow.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.

Guess my thymine was off.

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

How does a DNA molecule moisten a stamp?

Helix it.

Son: "Dad, did you get your DNA test results back?"

Dad: "Call me George."

Went to the doctor and they tested my DNA. He told me that my DNA is backwards!

I said, ā€œAND?ā€

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association

What's the difference between DNA and a Hormone?

You can't hear DNA.

Why are murders in Kentucky so hard to solve?

Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

What do you call a man who invented DNA?

Gene

DNA results have finally came back

Turns out Iā€™m the murderer.

What do you get when you combine human DNA with whale DNA?

Kicked out of Sea World, apparently.



Yes, I know it's a repost. But I love this joke.

Why did the blonde ask for a DNA test on her new baby?

She wanted to make sure it was hers.

Am I adopted?

Fred came home from University in tears.

"Mum, am I adopted?"

"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?

Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side o...

Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase...

...so I could unzip your genes.

Why did the DNA chain blush?

It was part of his genetic makeup.

Humans share 70% of our DNA with zebrafish

So if you're having difficulty getting something done, it's probably because a zebrafish is using the DNA.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed ā€œTrump Sucksā€ in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says ā€œMr President, Iā€™ve got good news and bad news. The good news is weā€™ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out itā€™s Mike Penceā€™s.ā€ ā€œThat traitorā€, shouts Trump. ā€œIā€™ll have him hang...

A frog went for a DNA test...

The results came back 99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.

Beware of DNA tests!

In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, ...

Why wife just had her myheritage DNA test back

Turns out she is a Karen...

She is on the phone with the company to complain about the results.

DNA: ACG

RNA: No U

Scientists have conducted blood tests on a frog to extract DNA and confirm its identity.

They have discovered that the frog was:-
30% Russian
30% French
20% Italian
10% Spanish
5% British
4% Dutch
And a tad Pole...!

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansasā€¦

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Poleā€¦

Once I took a DNA test.

It was pretty hard but I think I passed.

I took a DNA test

Turns out, I am 70% water and 2% milk

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