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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

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A single sperm cell has 37.5 MB of DNA information on it. That means that an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow

What do you get when you mix human and goat dna?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

I just did a DNA test and found out I’m 50% vampire

I’m so bloody ashamed I can’t look at myself in the mirror.

What do diarrhea and DNA have in common?

They both run in your jeans.

What does DNA stand for?

National dyslexic association.

why is DNA evidence not permissible in Alabama court?

because its all the same anyway

Doctor: "I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"

Me: "and"?

I'm super-thrilled to announce that I am now a member of the DNA!

You know, the National Dyslexia Association!

Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.

Coronavirus: AND?

Am I adopted?

Fred came home from University in tears.

"Mum, am I adopted?"

"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?

Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side o...

What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

Do my Gene's make me look fat.

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My DNA tests came back. Turns out I'm mostly French and British.

No wonder I fucking hate myself.

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One ejaculation contains over 15000 gigs of DNA. So what does that make pornstars?

Fucking genuises

DNA: ACG

RNA: No U

Scientists are currently trying to combine Ephemeroptera and Anthophila dna, but will it work?

Maybee, maybee not.

Why couldn't the detective solve the Alabama murder case despite having the dna samples

It matched with everyone

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed.

Guess my thymine was off.

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

I submitted my DNA to 23 & Me

They recommended I resubmit it to 24 & Me

Once I took a DNA test.

It was pretty hard but I think I passed.

A detective is trying to solve a murder mystery

A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.

The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.

Why are murders so hard to solve in Alabama?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

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My ancestry DNA test shows 10% African, 20% Mexican, 40% Cuban, 5% Chinese...

Mom, what this even mean?

-Mom "a fucking great party"

Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.

Unfortunately the result was unbearable.

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I'm 100%

going to jail for shoplifting.

What do you do when your DNA cookie is undercooked?

You make it CRISPR.

If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase...

So I could unzip your genes

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.

Turns out my dog licked my sample.

President Trump wakes up one winter morning and looks out the Whitehouse window to see the words "Trump sucks!" Written in urine in the snow.

Outraged, he tasks the Secret Service to find out who is responsible.

Later that day the director of the Secret Service comes into the oval office and asks, "Sir, we have an answer. Do you want the bad news or the worse news?"

"Give me the bad news."

"We got the DNA test back o...

how do you study for a DNA test?

highlight the answers with a genetic marker

What did Michael Jackson say when he found out he had Native American DNA?

Cherok-hee-hee!!

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Why does DNA never lie?

Cuz it can’t fucking speak

How long do those mail in DNA tests take to receive back?

My son was born with a different skincolor than myself and wife. Just wondering what Recessive traits we're passed down to him. I mailed it off over 6 months ago and still no response....

When I was a kid, I googled 'DNA' to know more about it.

I was promptly directed to the National Dyslexic Association homepage

Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA inside of a lot of Women.

Unfortunately, most of them spit it out.

Do you know why there was no CSI Alabama?

Hard to write a plot when everyone around has no dental records and a matching DNA.

A home DNA test kit

does not make a good baby shower gift.

Did you know that "sdrawrof dna sdrawkcab emas eht" backwards is

the same backwards and forwards

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?

They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

Scientists identified intelligent DNA in a blonde.

The highest concentration was found in the stomach.

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