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Cloned Jokes

I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother

All my genes are hand-me-downs

*Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness

Kim Jong Un got cloned...

Kim Jong Un got cloned.


What will we call him, asks the scientist ?


"Kim Jong- Deux" replied his French assistant.

A cloning experiment gone wrong

A laboratory, hidden from public knowledge, secretly worked on the cloning of humans. Of course, human cloning being illegal, their staff was limited to a select few that had both the credentials and the disregard for rules that was considered essential to be a successful researcher at the facility....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I knew a scientist who successfully cloned themselves for the sole purpose of having a sexual partner.

We were friends up to that point. I told him, "You do you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cloning

A rich assholish guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've decided that I'm going to have myself cloned," he smugly tells the bartender. "Well," the bartender replies. "Wouldn't that be just like you...."

Scientists in China have successfully cloned two macaque monkeys.

It's quite impossible to tell them apart, said one of the monkeys

Bill Nye cloned himself with the help of Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Unfortunately, something went wrong in the cloning process and resulted in the clone being pure evil. As soon as he was released from the cloning vat, the evil clone killed the good Bill Nye and escaped. Much later, after hunting him for years, Neil deGrasse Tyson finally caught up with the evil clo...

I went to the doctor and he cloned me without my permission.

I was beside myself with anger.

An irishman named Sean cloned himself multiple times but just couldn't stand being around the 11th one...

There was ten Sean between them.

A scientist named Berade cloned himself 76 times. Because of a mutation, the clones were all much more muscular than the real Berade.

One day one of the clones said to his 75 fellow clones, "I'm tired of that weakling bossing us around! He's treating us like servants just because he created us!"

So the clones all picked up Berade and threw him into a pigpen. When Berade landed, a hornet's nest was dislodged, and the hornets...

Did you hear? A psychopathic scientist cloned a guy, killed the clone, and made the original eat the clone?

He really was full of himself

If someone cloned me without my permission and then sat that clone down right next to me, do you know how angry I would be?

I would be beside myself.

Ever since I got cloned, my wife has said I spent too much time with him. Today, the clone and I were sat in the lounge watching TV, when my wife came in and told me that she was leaving.

I was beside myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the cannibal who cloned himself to see what he would taste like?

It made him shit himself.

Scientists are studying cloning technology and are finally ready to put it to the test.

They insert DNA from a test subject into the machine and wait as the cloning device does it's thing.

After it's done all it managed to produce was a head, an alive and conscious head.

Scientists quickly scramble to put the head in a jar of salient. Where he remained for about a week....

Gustavo was a mad scientist

Gustavo, called “Gus” by his friends and nemeses, was a mad scientist with very peculiar tastes. In particular, he was fond of the flavor of human flesh.

However, he was an ethical mad scientist, so he got his meat via cloning willing subjects.

Over time the number of subjects went dow...

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