Terminator Jokes - 38 Hilarious Terminator Jokes

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

What's the difference between The Terminator and your dad?

The Terminator will be back.

Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Terminator franchise get reclassified as porn?

Because they thoroughly fucked the timeline.

Terminator

My wife kicked me out of the house because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonations..But, don’t worry. I’ll Return!!

C-3PO, Robocop, and The Terminator are planning a play about classical music composers

C-3PO says, “I’ll be Mozart”. Robocop says, “I’ll be Beethoven”. The Terminator says, “I’ll be Bach”.

What do Karlsson, Terminator and Jesus Christ have in common?

They all promise to come back.

I asked the clerk where the Terminator action figures were

She said "Aisle B, back".

Terminator movie, Kennedy family and anabolic steroid walked into a bar

They were arguing loudly. The bartender said: "Please keep it down. What you are arguing about?"

"We have a little disagreement about who of us made Arnold Schwarzenegger big."

What do you call the terminator in his Retirement

The Exterminator

Terminator decided to stop killing and take up an honest job.

Now he's an exterminator

Terminator and his friends were going to a costume party.

They all decided that they'll go as composers.

Friend 1: I'll be Mozart

Friend 2: I'll be Beethoven

Terminator: I'LL BE BACH

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dyslexic Sex Terminator looking for roommate.

Live with me if you want to come.

A Terminator walks into a bar...

He notices a fly and swats it, killing it immediately.

The bartender goes "I thought you only killed people."

The Terminator replies, "Negative. I am an Ex-Terminator."

Terminator the musical

"I'll be bach!"

Why did the terminator leave the bar?

It doesn’t matter, he’ll be back.

The terminator is like cancer

They’ll both be back

At the age of 73, Arnold Schwarzenegger is amazing in the latest Terminator movie.

The only difference is the catch phrase, which has been changed to...."Aaaaarrhh my back."

I can do a really bad Terminator impression!

I'll return...

Michael: What do you call a terminator that doesn't let you finish your sentence?

Jim: Wha-

Michael: An interrupter.

My wife insisted on a threesome with that Terminator actor

I didn’t want to risk trouble so as soon as he turned up I said “I’ll be front”

What Did The Muslim Terminator Say?

Allah Be Back.

I'm going to an Italian restaurant with The Terminator...

I can't decide between pasta or pizza, baby.

The Terminator

I was talking with my good friend Arnold about what he was going to be for Halloween this year. It surprised me to hear that he intended to dress up as a composer. When i asked him which one he looked dead into my eyes and said "I'll be Bach."

The Terminator T-100 walks into a bar and says,

"Gimmie a screwdriver! I need to loosen up."

Terminator doesn't google himself

he uses Altavista baby.

What are terminators called when they retire?

Exterminators

What did the Terminator chicken say when it crossed the road?

I'll be bawk.

What is an Italian Terminators Catchphrase?

Pasta la vista, baby.

Terminator walks into a police station

He opens the first office and two police officers stand there mouths open. They reach for their pistols, but the Terminator opens his mouth and out shoots the sound of ear piercing violins. The police officers drop their pistols and clench their hands against their ears, but it's too much, their hea...

Why do decommissioned terminators kill insects?

Because they are exterminators.

My wife said she is leaving me because I always mis-quote the Terminator films.

She'll be back.

The Terminator got sick of chasing Sarah Connor, so he started a pest control company.

He became an exterminator.

Arnold Schwarzenegger at the age of seventy one is to star in a new Terminator film later this year,

They have changed his catchphrase slightly though, to...

"Ah, me back."

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 

Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 

Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the movie execs when he found out they wanted more racial diversity in the Terminator movies?

I’ll be black.

What did the terminator say when he accidentally got sent back in time to the renaissance?

I'll be Bach.

After Arnold Schwarzenegger quit the acting world, he should have started a pest control service

He is an ex-Terminator, after all.

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