UPJOKE
missionaryhessianpetticoatbostonarcticgoodwifebonbonthanksgivingsanta clausjames reeschristmasella farmanvampiremandychristmas tree

Mrs Claus Jokes

What’s the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ?

Emptied his sack.




(Compliments of my 7 year old son)



Edit - No he did not understand what he was saying and Yes we did tell him not to repeat it.

What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants?

A mistletoe.

Why is Mrs Claus depressed?

Because Santa only comes once a year, and it's down the chimney.

Why dont saint nick and mrs clause have any kids?

Cause Santa only comes once a year and its down a chimney.

What did Santa Claus say when he heard Mrs Claus had been cheating on him?

Hoe hoe hoe

The Story of How The Angel Went on Top of The Christmas Tree

Santa was having a terrible day. The toy factory was broken. Elves weren’t working. Mrs Claus was bugging him about something. He was having to manually make toys out of wood. He was over it. And just as he was hanging on to his lead shred of sanity, he smashed his thumb with a hammer.
And just ...

Santa is stressed...

Many years ago on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus is preparing for his big day tomorrow but nothing is goin well. Half the reindeer are sick, the elves are behind on their work and Mrs Claus' mother-in-law just arrived for the week.

But then an angel appeared at Santa's door with a Christmas tree ...

Santa goes to the dentist...

... complaining about his dentures wearing out.


"It seems like they're corroding, doc! What am I doing wrong?"


The dentist looked concerned. "Have there been any changes to your diet?"


"As a matter of fact," said Santa, "Mrs Claus has started making a wonderful holla...

A while ago there was a rebellion in Lapland

A group of three elves were very unhappy with Santa’s treatment of them, and organised an uprising.

Having dealt with the uprising, Santa expelled the three elves from Lapland. He gave each of them a colour to make sure he knew where they were.

The first elf was given the colour yell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Is there a little angel on top of the Christmas tree?

Many years ago, on Christmas Eve, everything went wrong at the North Pole. Mrs Claus was on the rag, the reindeer had the runs, the elves were on strike and Rudolph hit the bottle pretty hard.

Santa was pretty pissed-off and about to explode when the little angel walked in with a freshly cut ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.