City Centre Jokes - 7 Hilarious City Centre Jokes

I've heard that after last night's riots in the city centre, 8 of my mum's sisters are going to be standing by some damaged buildings all night holding candles.

You can't beat vigil aunties....

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Paddy's last will...

Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast.
He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My...

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An American, Brit and Finn sit at the pub

The American says: “our Air Force is so mighty that if we launch all of our airplanes into the sky, you won’t even see the sun!”

Everyone around looks impressed, agrees that the US Air Force is indeed mighty.

The Brit says: “our navy is so mighty that if we’d line up all of our vessels...

Two guys were just arrested.

I just saw on the news that two guys have been arrested in the city centre. One was drinking battery fluid and the other was chewing fireworks. One of them was charged but the other was let off.

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Two blondes walk up to a bus stop...

The first blonde walks up to the bus and asks, "will this bus take me to the city centre?"
The driver replies, "I'm afraid not."

The second blonde walks over, smiles sweetly and asks, "will it take *me* there?"

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One question

The Mayor of London, England was very much worried about a plague of pigeons in the city centre. He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of London was full of pigeon poop, the people of London could not walk on the pavements or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to keep the stre...

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A middle-aged woman saves money...

...for a plastic surgery. She wants to have a facelift. Finally, the big day arrives on her 47th birthday. It costs 5,000 dollars, but she feels like it was worth it. Her face is extremely beautiful and young again.

She wants to test it, though, so she goes for a walk in the city centre. She ...

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