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Bus Station Jokes

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.

A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. In my office I have a workstation.

What more can I say.

I was mugged at a bus station, and burst in to tears.

A police officer came up to me and said 'I'm fining you £60'.

I said, 'oh, for crying out loud'

The police officer said 'yes'

So I was standing at a bus station having a smoke

And I was horrified to see the bus leave the bus station without me....

I could have sworn I put the handbrake on!!!!

A person at the bus station asked me where these wheels were going.

I told him that the Bus itself was going to the next town over, but the Wheels on the Bus go round and round.

A bus driver was called into court for killing 24 children and 6 adults

The judge asks the bus driver "why did you kill all those innocent people?"

The bus driver, looking a little sad, says "I didn't mean too, It was by mistake!"

"How did it happen?" Asks the judge.

"Well-" said the bus driver, "I was driving to a bus station but suddenly, on the r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some bloke at the bus station hit me with a stick for no reason.

Naturally, I retaliated and beat the living shit out of him.


Just for good measure, I kicked his labrador as well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I meet a beauty at the bus station and I asked her would you suck my dick? She smiled and said...

If you suck my dick first! I said damn,
The Transit’s Cumming

A woman stands in a bus station and thinks to herself: "should I go by bus or by taxi?

If I go by taxi, it doesn't matter. If I go by bus, there are 2 options; either I'll sit, or I'll stand. If I stand, it doesn't matter. If I sit, there are 2 options; either I'll sit next to a boy, or I'll sit next to a girl. If I'll sit next to a girl, it doesn't matter. If I sit next to a boy, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homeless man tries to sleep with a nun

A homeless man is sitting outside of a bus station begging for change when a nun walks by. "Hey there sexy lady! How about some love for an old homeless man?," he says. The nun says nothing but gives him a nasty look and walks away. "Hey, buddy" says a voice behind him. The homeless man turns around...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Freudian Slip

A man is waiting in line at the bus station. He finally makes his way to the attendant and notices she is well endowed and certainly showing it. He avoids looking at her breasts and promptly states "I'd like a picket to Titsburgh." Realizing his mistake he grows red with embarrassment. After purchas...

My friends tell me I don't understand irony...

which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus station.

My friend told me I don't know the meaning of irony

Which was really ironic because we were at a bus station.

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