Based on an urban myth: Two guys were smoking weed one late evening

Not being in the best state for great decisions, they figured they wanted to go for a ride to pick up some food. However, as they came to the first roundabout one guy said, let's go for an extra round. Sure, said the other and off they went.

"You know what would be even better?"

"Wh...

What do you call that monk who is living in the urban area?

citiZEN

What do you call an urban area in France with a low average income and high rates of criminality?

A baghuetto

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow tipping?" "I'm sorry, gentlemen. Cow tipping is simply an urban myth," the bartender explains. "The farmers actually pay them a competitive wage."

Did you hear the urban legend about the creepy ghost that appears when you use artificial sweetener?

He's called Splendaman.

Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar.

None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.

TIL cow tipping is an urban myth.

Apparently, the farmers just pay them a competitive wage.

What do you call an uncredited writer in urban northwest Pennsylvania?

An Erie ghost writer.

The difference between rural, suburban, and urban.

- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.

Credit to someone on /u/jasonrei...

If there is an Urban Dictionary...

...Shouldn't there be a Rural Dictionary

Credits to my friend Portia.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why is hip hop popular among urban youth?

because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air.

I met an urban dwarf who keeps perfect time.

He’s a metronome.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] Urban Dictionary word example

Tony: "Bro, I rage fucked Taylor last night!"

Frankie: "What!? She ha......"

Tony: "Hell ya! It was awesome. I took all my anger out on her! Felt so good!"

Frankie: "But she ha......"

Tony: "Best day of my life! Wait sorry I interrupted you again. What were you going ...

What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert?

Lots of bad pickup lines.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Police: Viagra on the Rise as Recreational Drug Amongst Urban Youth

The Boys in the Hood are always hard.

I bought a winter jacket at Urban Outfitters last August

I got a really good deal because I bought it before it was cool.

A study conducted in the United States showed that:

1. The popular sport of the urban population is basketball

2. Favourite sport of maintenance people is bowling

3. The favourite sport of the average staff is football

4. The favourite sport of senior staff is baseball

5. The favourite sport of directors is tennis

6...

What do you call a hipster who turns into a skeleton?

Urban Decay!

I did not originally think of this, I heard it from a friend

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Scientists had heard rumours of a new species of butterfly in London...

But it turned out to be an Urban Moth

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Balls INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middl...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Is it too soon to joke about 9/11?

There's an urban legend amongst pilots from that day that goes something like this:

It's 9/11. All aircraft have been grounded and diverted to other airports. As news of the tragedy begins to spread, a somber mood permeates all flight crews as they whisper amongst themselves and discretely on...

Since he is a country singer...

Shouldn't Keith Urban's last name be Rural?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar on top of a high rise

And sees another patron in a deep conversation with the bartender. As the man walks up and orders a beer, he can't help but hear the patron extolling the wonders of urban air currents to the visibly bored bartender.

"Yeah Murray, it's incredible. The speeds these updrafts can reach would blow...

New metals are added to chemistry

A new metal is added to chemistry:

• NAME

- Husband

• SYMBOL:

- Hb

• ATOMIC WEIGHT:

1. Light when found first
2. Tends to get heavier over the years with time

• PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Boils at any time with inlaws
2. Can...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

College Football Jokes - Enjoy!

Don't know where they came from, but they are worth a chuckle or two.

> Ohio State's
> Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know
> the meaning of the word
> fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know
> the meaning of a lot of
> words...

An elderly lady would always bring flowers she picked from her garden to a local hospital to cheer up the pediatric patients.

One day a worker was installing a new sign in the lobby when a metal bar from his scaffolding fell. He was harnessed in to the part that didn't fall, but the bar hit the elderly lady with the flowers, killing her instantly.

Two years later the maintenance guy was walking down a corridor after...