What’s the oldest age someone can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off

How much do you get paid to perform a circumcision?

Not much, but you get to keep the tips.

I was assisting a Dr. doing circumcisions

and he asked me “Don’t you ever wonder what I do with all these forskins? I take them home and make wallets out of them…when you rub them they turn into suitcases.”

What happened to the blind Rabbi who messed up the circumcision?

He got the sack.

What’s the difference between a circumcision and a divorce?

In a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick.

I asked the circumcision doctor if he got good pay

He said no, he just keeps the tips

How much do you pay a circumcision specialist?

However much you want... they work on tips.

Why did the circumcision doctor quit when he hadn’t gotten his paycheck yet?

He already had all the tips he needed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor has been doing circumcisions for 30 years, and he's collected all the foreskins. (NSFW)

He has them all in a box, and decides he should do something with them. He takes them to a taxidermist and asks him to make something out of them.

A few weeks later, he returns to the taxidermist, who pulls out a small box and sets it on the counter. The doctor opens the box and there is a wa...

"Rabbi, could you please perform a circumcision for my son"

Rabbi :"What's his age ? "

Man : "8 years "

Rabbi :" what? That's way past the usual cut off date "

Why do doctors make more money from circumcisions than other types of procedures?

It's the only procedure in which they collect tips!

The surgeon's first circumcision was tricky.

Eventually, the surgeon managed to pull it off.

How do you give a person from Alabama a circumcision?

You kick his sister in the jaw

New Band Name Idea: Suspicious Circumcision

They do mostly deep cuts.

What’s a failed circumcision called

A Beheading

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a friend that was born without eyelids, his doctor used the foreskin from his circumcision to make him some.

The surgery was a great success, he's just a little cock eyed.

Did you hear about the drunk surgeon who did circumcisions?

He got the sack

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they gi...

Show me a man who is anti circumcision

And I'll show you a complete prick.

I've never heard a good circumcision joke.

They always get cut off right at the end.

Did you hear the zoo is hiring someone to perform elephant circumcisions?

The pay's not great, but the tips are pretty big.

There is a tree named after the rabbi who does circumcisions.

It's the juniper.

Joke from my dad.

Why did the priest not charge for doing circumcision's?

He got to keep the tips.

When I was younger,

when I was younger, a lot younger, I used to think that vasectomies and circumcisions were the same thing. Now I know there's a vas deferens

If you're ever getting a circumcision don't go for the cheap option

It's usually a rip off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service.

A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day in...

I preform circumcisions at the local synagogue.

The pay isnt that great, but I get to keep the tips.

A doctor is retiring, he mostly performed circumcisions his whole career...

...and he collected the remainders in a large glass jar. He brings the jar to a leather tanner and explains that it’s all he has to remember 50 years of service to his community - please make something, anything, nice from it.

The leather tanner says no problem; to come back in a week.
...

A rabbi had worked for many years as a mohel performing circumcisions...

He collected all the foreskins he had cut over his career and brought them to a leather maker after he retired.

He brings the foreskins to the best leather maker in town and says “Make me whatever you can with these.” Surprised but undaunted, the leather maker says “Okay, come back in a week ...

A local hospital is offering Black Friday specials on circumcisions.

Up to 50% off.

What do you call a discount on a circumcision and a vasectomy at the same time?

A package deal



I’ll see myself out

How do you know if your doctor does circumcisions?

He takes tips

Why are discount circumcisions a bad idea?

It’s usually a total rip-off

The author of a number of vehemently anti-circumcision books goes to get a haircut...

Barber: “And what would you like?”

Author: “Just a little off the top please”

Did you hear about the Rabbi who got fired after a botched circumcision?

He got the sac.

Circumcision is a painful procedure to inflict on a newborn.

After I was circumcised I couldn't walk for a year.

Some say we should end the practice of male circumcision

Personally I think they're making a mountain out of a mohel.

You know what they say about getting cheap circumcisions.

It'll be a rip-off.

Why does the Rabbi offer free circumcisions?

He only collects the tips.

Stephen Spielberg's Circumcision....

...the Directors Cut

Circumcisions are painful.

When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fig...

My new job in the circumcision ward pays great and has great prospects...

20 skins a day and a chance to get ahead.

What does a cheap circumcision have in common with a really expensive one?

They’re both rip offs.

What did the Rabbi say as he was finishing up a circumcision?

It won't be long now.

Why are circumcisions cheap in Israel?

Because rabbis work for tips.

Part Jewish here 🇮🇱

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Jews start circumcision?

Because Jewish women can’t resist anything that’s 20% off.

The high prices in the stores are like a cheap circumcision...

A rip-off

If you rush a circumcision to be able to watch the start of a basketball game

You are quickly taking the tip off not to miss the tip off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

The longest circumcision in history

I had this mate and he used to go on about it his job all the time, you know the type? Work, work, work! Well this was particularly annoying in his case, as he was a professional circumciser.

I said to him one day do you enjoy your work? And off he went...

He said yes it’s a fantasti...

A Russian Doctor invented circumcision

Dr Ivan Karchakokov

My parents got me the cheapest circumcision available

It was a rip off

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