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circumcision?

I over head these two guys in a bar one night, in their 30's, discussing the subject of Circumcision.

One guy was dead set on getting it done , since his parents didn't have that done for him.

I couldn't help but to get in that convo.

I said,

"I would recommend against...

Did you hear about the rabbi who did the circumcision wrong?

He got the sack

someone offered me a cheap circumcision so i accepted

it was a ripoff

The surgeon who performed my circumcision didn't have scalpels.

I was surprised they managed to pull it off.

I have invented a machine for automated circumcision

The technology is cutting edge.

What’s the oldest age a man can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

Callum’s Seafood Restaurant and Circumcision Clinic

Where yesterday’s cut is today’s calamari!

NSFW what do you call a cheap circumcision

A Rip off

„Whoa your circumcision looks horrible“ …

„Yeah my parents went for the cheap one...it was a rip off“

Watched an episode of a classic sitcom last night. The episode dealt with the topic of circumcision. I didn't enjoy watching it...

I hate when sitcoms run clip shows.

Why did the Jewish doctor accidentally perform a circumcision?

It was a Freudian snip

What’s the difference between a circumcision and a divorce?

In a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick.

I was assisting a Dr. doing circumcisions

and he asked me “Don’t you ever wonder what I do with all these forskins? I take them home and make wallets out of them…when you rub them they turn into suitcases.”

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister

A priest, a rabbi and a minister decide to see who's best at his job. The test is to go into the woods, find a bear and try to convert it.

After they are done the priest says, "I read to the bear from the Catechism, sprinkled him with holy water and next week is his First Communion."

T...

How much do you get paid to perform a circumcision?

Not much, but you get to keep the tips.

I asked the circumcision doctor if he got good pay

He said no, he just keeps the tips

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Speaking of foreskins.....

A baby boy was born back in 2015 with a rare condition called Ablepharon-macrostomia syndrome that left him without eyelids.  This happened in my small resort town in upstate NY, it turned that there was a world-renowned plastic surgeon in town and he performed a surgery to correct the condition. Du...

New Band Name Idea: Suspicious Circumcision

They do mostly deep cuts.

Why did the circumcision doctor quit when he hadn’t gotten his paycheck yet?

He already had all the tips he needed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor has been doing circumcisions for 30 years, and he's collected all the foreskins. (NSFW)

He has them all in a box, and decides he should do something with them. He takes them to a taxidermist and asks him to make something out of them.

A few weeks later, he returns to the taxidermist, who pulls out a small box and sets it on the counter. The doctor opens the box and there is a wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a friend that was born without eyelids, his doctor used the foreskin from his circumcision to make him some.

The surgery was a great success, he's just a little cock eyed.

What's it like being the rabbi who does circumcisions?

The pay is awful but you get to keep all the tips.

How much do you pay a circumcision specialist?

However much you want... they work on tips.

A bad day at work

A circumcision surgeon walks into a bar and orders a beer. "This has to be the worst day of my life. My job is over," he says to the bartender. "What happened?" the bartender asks. "I got the sack." he replies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you see on the news the boy who was born with no eyelids?

The doctors rushed him to emergency surgery for his circumcision and immediately replaced his eyelids with his foreskin in a miraculous surgery. The doctor was praised and during an interview stated "the boy is going to be just fine, we don't see any major complications in his future however he may ...

Why do doctors make more money from circumcisions than other types of procedures?

It's the only procedure in which they collect tips!

Two 5 year old boys are in the hospital waiting to go into surgery. The first boy asks the other, "What are having done?"

"I'm having my tonsils taken out."

"Oh you're going to love it. I had that done last year and I got to eat ice cream for a week. Best week ever."

The second boy asks, "What about you?"

"Circumcision," the first boy replies.

The second boy responds, "I had that done when ...

I've never heard a good circumcision joke.

They always get cut off right at the end.

What’s a failed circumcision called

A Beheading

"Rabbi, could you please perform a circumcision for my son"

Rabbi :"What's his age ? "

Man : "8 years "

Rabbi :" what? That's way past the usual cut off date "

Show me a man who is anti circumcision

And I'll show you a complete prick.

If you're ever getting a circumcision don't go for the cheap option

It's usually a rip off

Circumcision is a painful procedure to inflict on a newborn.

After I was circumcised I couldn't walk for a year.

What do you call a discount on a circumcision and a vasectomy at the same time?

A package deal



I’ll see myself out

Did you hear the zoo is hiring someone to perform elephant circumcisions?

The pay's not great, but the tips are pretty big.

A doctor is retiring, he mostly performed circumcisions his whole career...

...and he collected the remainders in a large glass jar. He brings the jar to a leather tanner and explains that it’s all he has to remember 50 years of service to his community - please make something, anything, nice from it.

The leather tanner says no problem; to come back in a week.
...

Why did the priest not charge for doing circumcision's?

He got to keep the tips.

Some say we should end the practice of male circumcision

Personally I think they're making a mountain out of a mohel.

Circumcisions are painful.

When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year

A local hospital is offering Black Friday specials on circumcisions.

Up to 50% off.

Why are discount circumcisions a bad idea?

It’s usually a total rip-off

What did the Rabbi say as he was finishing up a circumcision?

It won't be long now.

A rabbi had worked for many years as a mohel performing circumcisions...

He collected all the foreskins he had cut over his career and brought them to a leather maker after he retired.

He brings the foreskins to the best leather maker in town and says “Make me whatever you can with these.” Surprised but undaunted, the leather maker says “Okay, come back in a week ...

Stephen Spielberg's Circumcision....

...the Directors Cut

How do you know if your doctor does circumcisions?

He takes tips

My new job in the circumcision ward pays great and has great prospects...

20 skins a day and a chance to get ahead.

What does a cheap circumcision have in common with a really expensive one?

They’re both rip offs.

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they gi...

There is a tree named after the rabbi who does circumcisions.

It's the juniper.

Joke from my dad.

A man has a strange request for his doctor...

Credit to u/tenebralupo for the last time I recall this joke being posted here. I thought it'd be funny, so enjoy!

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Some guy walks into his doctor's office.

"Good morning. Are you here for a checkup?"

"Not really. I've decided I want to be castrated."

"Castrat...

You know what they say about getting cheap circumcisions.

It'll be a rip-off.

The longest circumcision in history

I had this mate and he used to go on about it his job all the time, you know the type? Work, work, work! Well this was particularly annoying in his case, as he was a professional circumciser.

I said to him one day do you enjoy your work? And off he went...

He said yes it’s a fantasti...

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