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It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

How do Muslims social distance?

Qur'antine

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A Muslim boy once asked his father: "why is it that Jews can't work on Saturday, Christians can't work on Sunday, but Muslims work on their holy day Friday?"

The dad looked down at his son and said, "God didn't need to force us to take a break because in His infinite wisdom He knew we'd never work that much to begin with."

(I'm Muslim).

Where do Russian Muslims pray ?

Mosque'O

Muslims, Christians, Monks, and Catholics died and went to heaven.

The Muslims approached God and God said, “room 421, but be quiet going past 419.” The Monks approached God and God said, “room 422, but be quiet going past 419.” The Christians approached God and God said, “room 421, but be quiet going past 419.” The Christians asked,” why quiet going past 419?” God...

What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

A Catholic priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim extremist walk into a bar and all sit at the counter.

The bartender hands each of them a menu then turns to the priest and asks, "what can I get you to drink, Father?”

The priest replies, "oh I don't drink, but I have to ask, does this really say you could get me the blood of Mary?"

The bartender responds, "No no no, Father, you misunders...

What's the Muslims' favorite state in the USA?

Alahbama.

Where do Russian Muslims go to prayer?

Mosque O

In a world without Muslims, there wouldn't be a 911.

We'd have to say CMXI instead.

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BECOMING IRISH

Seven-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom in Dublin on the first day of school..


"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher,
"so from now on you will be known as Mick."

Mohammad returned hom...

How do muslims close doors?

They islam it.

Why are Muslims always angry

Because they have a short fuse

How many Muslims fit in a Mosque

Allaht

Why do we see a lot of puns on Muslims here on r/jokes?

It's more likely to blow up.

This Christmas,one in five children in London will not get a gift from Santa

This Christmas,one in five children in London will not have a Christmas pudding with their loved ones.

This Christmas,one in five children in London will not have a Christmas tree in their homes.

This is not a message from red cross or salvation army. 20% of children born in London ar...

Where do Muslims shop?

Halaldi

Classic joke for our Muslim friends today

There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view...

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An old Jewish man rubs a lamp, and a genie emerges.

"For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you one wish," the genie says.

The old man instantly pulls out a map of Israel and says, "My deepest wish is that the Jews, Muslims and Christians in the Holy Land will live together in peace and fellowship forever."

The genie hangs his head ...

The Muslim Ban

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Muslims had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Muslim community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Muslim community. If the Muslims won, they could stay in Italy; an...

In 1272, the Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

What's the difference between Muslims and rednecks from Alabama?

The rednecks are drunk when marrying their cousins.

What's a Muslims favorite answer on a multiple choice exam?

D) Allah the above

Where are Muslims going to pray when they go to Mars?

Elon's Mosque

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The Christian says: “The Jews and Muslims are wrong.”

The Muslim says: “The Christians and Jews are wrong.”

The Jew says: “The Muslims and Christians are wrong.”

The Atheist says: “You *all* are *correct*.”

What do you call 2000 lbs of Muslims?

A Shiite ton.

What have Muslims and Scottish weather got in common?

They're often either Sunni or Shiite.

Muslims in the U.S.A

[Removed]

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Why do Muslims, black people, Mexicans, and anti-vaxxers like chocolate?

Because everyone likes chocolate, and why would someone’s religion, race, nationality, or the fact that they’re an uneducated moron change that?

Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

'Cause they hate the French press

What's the difference between an American soldier and a Muslim?

Conservatives spend a lot of money getting the Muslims out of the streets.

Why are Muslims so good at dating?

Because they always go out with a bang!

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