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It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

Two muslims were in relationship.

Her: "I am sorry, but I was Christian before we were together. I know I should have told you earlier."

Him: "No problem, if you don't feel like Christian anymore, you have nothing to worry about."

Her: "Oh, thanks. Don't worry. I feel much better as Christina now."

What state has the most muslims?


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Do you know what Christians, Hindus and Muslims agree on?

Chicken are Fucking delicious.

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A Muslim boy once asked his father: "why is it that Jews can't work on Saturday, Christians can't work on Sunday, but Muslims work on their holy day Friday?"

The dad looked down at his son and said, "God didn't need to force us to take a break because in His infinite wisdom He knew we'd never work that much to begin with."

(I'm Muslim).

How do Muslims social distance?


Two Americans in the Arabian desert.

Two Americans were walking in the Arabian desert one morning, when they come across a mosque.

They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.

"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some fo...

A Catholic priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim extremist walk into a bar and all sit at the counter.

The bartender hands each of them a menu then turns to the priest and asks, "what can I get you to drink, Father?โ€

The priest replies, "oh I don't drink, but I have to ask, does this really say you could get me the blood of Mary?"

The bartender responds, "No no no, Father, you misunders...

Where do Russian Muslims pray ?


Muslims, Christians, Monks, and Catholics died and went to heaven.

The Muslims approached God and God said, โ€œroom 421, but be quiet going past 419.โ€ The Monks approached God and God said, โ€œroom 422, but be quiet going past 419.โ€ The Christians approached God and God said, โ€œroom 421, but be quiet going past 419.โ€ The Christians asked,โ€ why quiet going past 419?โ€ God...

In a world without Muslims, there wouldn't be a 911.

We'd have to say CMXI instead.

What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

The Muslim Ban

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Muslims had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Muslim community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Muslim community. If the Muslims won, they could stay in Italy; an...

Classic joke for our Muslim friends today

There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view...

How many Muslims fit in a Mosque


What's the Muslims' favorite state in the USA?


In 1272, the Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Where are Muslims going to pray when they go to Mars?

Elon's Mosque

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Seven-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom in Dublin on the first day of school..

"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher,
"so from now on you will be known as Mick."

Mohammad returned hom...

Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

'Cause they hate the French press

Why are Muslims always angry

Because they have a short fuse

Where do Muslims shop?


Why do we see a lot of puns on Muslims here on r/jokes?

It's more likely to blow up.

Muslims in the U.S.A


Iโ€™m done with Ramadan!

Other muslims are still fasting, but I was faster.

Eid Mubarak!

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The Christian says: โ€œThe Jews and Muslims are wrong.โ€

The Muslim says: โ€œThe Christians and Jews are wrong.โ€

The Jew says: โ€œThe Muslims and Christians are wrong.โ€

The Atheist says: โ€œYou *all* are *correct*.โ€

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