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Pregnancies Jokes

Why do vampires never cause unwanted pregnancies?

Because they need permission to come inside.

Did you know teen pregnancies…

Take a sharp decline at the age of 20.

What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies...

“Have you tried condoms?” Asks the Dr.

“I did, and it resulted in 3 kids!” said the man.

“Have you tried birth control?”

“I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!”

“Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?”

“I did! And it resulted in 3 kids!”

Confounde...

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!

The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!

All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Bet...

The Greek learned you could avoid pregnancies by using sheep intestines.

The English later learned it also works if you remove it from the sheep first.

I thought the mustard would prevent pregnancies...

...but the condiment nothing!

In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on

...before anyone knows how to use the colon.

I don't know why people get so upset about failed pregnancies...

I mean, the baby is still born. (sorry)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.

It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?

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