UPJOKE
condompregnancyprophylacticpilldiaphragmmifepristonetubal ligationspermicidevasectomybreastfeedingcervical capnonprescriptionfemale condomabortifacientmenstruation

Contraceptives Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't fortune tellers use contraceptives?

They have crystal balls and can see it coming.

If you don't use contraceptives.

Then you've got nuttin to worry about.

An elderly woman goes to the pharmacy and asks for contraceptives

The pharmacist is confused and asks why she would need them.
She replies "they help me sleep at night."
The pharmacist asks "how so?"
"When I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning I sleep better at night."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oral contraceptive

I recently had an experience with oral contraceptives. I asked a woman if she would like have with me. She said, "No".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's a fair notion to suggest that I'm quite keen on oral contraceptives.

I asked a girl to have with my one night.

She said "No."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young girl started work in the village chemist shop.

She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.
The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would
be willing to run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.
"Look," he said. "My regular customers do...
2 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.