Contraceptives Jokes - 8 Hilarious Contraceptives Jokes

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Why don't fortune tellers use contraceptives?

They have crystal balls and can see it coming.

If you don't use contraceptives.

Then you've got nuttin to worry about.

An elderly woman goes to the pharmacy and asks for contraceptives

The pharmacist is confused and asks why she would need them.
She replies "they help me sleep at night."
The pharmacist asks "how so?"
"When I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning I sleep better at night."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oral contraceptive

I recently had an experience with oral contraceptives. I asked a woman if she would like have sex with me. She said, "No".

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It's a fair notion to suggest that I'm quite keen on oral contraceptives.

I asked a girl to have sex with my one night.

She said "No."

Mom's Never Wrong

**Me** : Mom, I'm going to my Girlfriend's house !

**Mom** : Get a Safety Along ! Use contraceptives ;-)

**Me** : Mom, I', Just 15 !

**Mom** : And I'm Just 30 !!!

Dinner With the Parents

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that, after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never been with a wom...

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A young girl started work in the village chemist shop.

She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.
The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would
be willing to run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.
"Look," he said. "My regular customers do...

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