UPJOKE
amateurinappropriateunskilledcareerunethicaldishonestdisrespectfulirresponsibledisgracefulinexcusableinsensitiveuncalledcallousinconsiderateboorish

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The rash on Frank's bum

Frank: I showed my doctor a rash on my bum yesterday, and he was all embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Bill: That's very unprofessional, what did he say?

Frank: He told me to make an appointment like everyone else, and said he was never going to shop in Walmart again.

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Argument in the Israeli parliament.

The Israeli parliament, called the Knesset, is known for its often heated and passionate debates.

One day, during a particularly vicious debate, a highly frustrated lawmaker strode to the rostrum and banged his fist down and screamed, "Half the people here are bastards!" He then angrily went ...

A contractor is taking a tour with a client discussing color themes. GREEN SIDE UP!

The contractor yelled out the living room window as he turned his attention back to the confused client. "Ah yes you definitely want a neutral tone for a room of this size and a decorator can help pick out the right furniture to accent." The client relaxed and completely agreed with his insight. "...

Mother and daughter go to the doctor

After running some tests due to some non specific symptoms, the doctor tell them, “well looks like you are going to be a grandma, your daughter is pregnant ma’am”

The mother is infuriated, insults the doctor telling him that her daughter “knows no man” and leaves the office fuming.

The...

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A woman tells her doctor, "Kiss me!"

The doctor says, "What? Why would I do something like that?"
The woman says again, "Kiss me now!"
The doctor replies, "Certainly not!"
The woman demands a third time, "Doctor, I want you to kiss me!"
The doctor answers, "No! It's unprofessional, highly unethical, and to be honest...

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

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Man goes to a doctor and sees the patient is looking very embarrassed.

The doctor says, "So why did you come to see me today?" The patient says, "Well, I have a problem, but it's kind of humiliating. Please promise you won't laugh!" The doctor assures the patient that he won't laugh. "I'm a professional and have seen a lot throughout my years."

The patient r...

A man is having issues with his wifi

As any self-loathing individual would do he calls up his service provider who tell him that they’ll have someone look at the router at 10am the next day.

“Odd, this seems like good customer service” he thought to himself. The next morning he wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee and waits, 10am lea...

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A woman visited a doctor

„Kiss me!“ She said.
„No!“ The doctor replied, „that would be unprofessional.“
But the woman insisted: „Please just kiss me! Just once, please!“
But the doctor did not give in: „I already told you, that would be unprofessional, and if i think about it, we shouldn’t be having sex either!“

Wonder Woman walks in on Batman and Robin's training session

Batman asks "Have I ever shown you how to do a side-kick?"

Wonder Woman shouts "BATMAN! THAT IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!"

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A man is touring a hospital to see how they operate

before potentially donating a large sum of money. The director giving him the tour is taking him around and showing him all of the different rooms. As they're walking, they run into a man who's masturbating. The director apologizes to both the masturbating man as well as the potential donor. Once th...

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A woman is in the doctor's office...

She says, "Doctor, kiss me."

He replies "I'm sorry, you're beautiful, but I can't do that, it would be unprofessional, I could lose my practice."

A minute later, again she says "Doctor, please, please kiss me, you're so handsome, I'm so aroused and dying to be kissed by you."

He...

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A man goes to the doctor.

He says to the doctor "I have a big problem. But first I want you to promise me you won't laugh."

"Oh, no sir, that would be very unprofessional. I have been practicing medicine for over 30 years and I've seen it all. So you have my word."

"OK" says the man and drops his pants. As soon...

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I went to get an eye exam...

The optometrist told me to stop masterbating.

I asked, “Why, does it really cause blindness?”

He said, “No, it’s just really an unprofessional thing to be doing right now. “

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Morgue Joke

So this elderly coroner and his new assistant are in the morgue when a body comes in. The coroner turns to his assistant and asks. "Are you ready, son?"

"Absolutely!" Says the assistant.

The doctor uncovers the body and the first thing the assistant notices is it's huge penis, the bigg...

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While in the stirrups at the gynecologist’s office, the woman overhears the doctor say...

“My, what a big vagina!” … “My, what a big vagina!”

The woman became furious and spoke up: “I can’t believe I heard you say something so unprofessional—not just once, but twice!”

“I’m very sorry and I apologize” the doctor said, “But in my defense I only said it once ^once ^^once ^^^on...

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