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Irrational Jokes

I have this wierd irrational fear of two letter words.

I get extremely scared just thinking about it.

I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps.

But I'm slowly getting over it.

I have an irrational fear of overly engineered buildings.

I have a complex complex complex.

Anatidaephobia is the irrational fear that somewhere, a duck or goose is watching you.

Iron Maiden tried to warn us about the fear of the duck

I've developed an irrational fear of escalators.

I always find myself taking steps to avoid them.

My psychiatrist asked me if I have any irrational fears…

I was afraid that she’d ask that

| don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.



But, anyway. You gotta draw the line somewhere, or
else people will think you're being irrational. But
that is beside the point.

I have an irrational fear of large intricate corporate buildings.

You could say I have a complex complex complex.

I have an irrational fear of modern architechture

My doctor says I have a complex complex complex.

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Patient: I have an irrational fear of the Backstreet Boys

Therapist: tell me why


Patient: AHHHHHHHH

Me: “Happy Pi day!”

Her: “Aren’t you a few days late lol?”
Me: “Sorry, I was being irrational”

I know its irrational, but...

Man, do I love pi.

What do you call an irrational snake?

A πthon

People said that I have irrational fear of lies.

Bu I'm afraid that is not true

My irrational fear of moving stairs seems to be getting worse.

You might say it’s… escalating.

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I hit a wall trying to cope with my irrational fear of sex

But I eventually got over the hump

Whoever named the irrational fear of long words,

didn't have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

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I was talking to my therapist about my irrational fear of letters.

Me: So, I'm afraid of random letters...

Therapist: You are?

Me: *Screams*

Therapist: Oh, I see...

Me: *Screaming intensifies*

I used to get irrationally angry at ice cubes and throw them onto the floor.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

I am irrationally scared of places like shopping centres, particularly if they are confusing and difficult to navigate.

I have a complex complex complex.

Mathematician: Doctor, I have a fear of the irrational

Doctor: Don't worry mate, all the things u worry about are just imaginary

Mathematician: That makes it even worse!

I have an irrational fear of warrior princesses from different places.

You could say I'm xenaphobic

I made an irrational decision today...

I went to a pi eating contest. It never stops.

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I went to see the doctor about my irrational fear of palindromes.

Bastard prescribed Xanax.

Have you heard about the man with an irrational fear of empty spaces?

Nothing scares him

I'm going to start a blog for irrational numbers...

I think I'll call it the 3.1 forums...

What's another name for an irrational fear of clowns?

Common sense.

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A man is told by a friend that he needs to seek some help for his irrational fear

So he goes to see a new therapist. The therapist asks the man what his fear is. The man responds:

"I am afraid of the Backstreet Boys"


The Therapist then responds:


"Tell me why"

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I realize i have an irrational fear of rats.

I didn't realize there would be so much wildlife in this city.One late night I was walking past this huge pile of garbage.Inside one of the trash bags there was a lot of movement.Really aggressive.It was starting to scare the shit out of me.My only thought was,"Oh God,I hope it's a baby.Please,plea...

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common?

They’re both irrational.

My girlfriend is like Pi.

Completely irrational.

Why was 7 afraid of π?

Let's be real, his fear was irrational.

Just another branch in the 7 ate 9 joke multiverse.

What is the equation for break up?

y = cos x is irrational

Why don't mathematicians tell jokes about pi?

Because they're never-ending and irrational!

What do the square-root of 2 and flat-earthers have in common ?

They're both completely irrational.

One day i told a psychiatrist that pi wasn’t real.

She said i was being irrational.

A Statistician Refuses to Fly

His friend asks him, "Why do you have this irrational fear of flying?"

"Irrational?" the statistician replies, "Not at all. I've merely calculated the odds of a bomb being placed on a plane and it's much too high for my comfort."

A few days later, the friend boarded a flight only to ...

π mathematicians walk into a bar and order beers.



The bartender says "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're clearly irrational."

Why does the FCC Chairman have the last name "Pai"?

Because he is irrational...

I started memorizing the digits of pi

Then I realized it was irrational.

I just joined a gang called square root 2

Because I'm irrational

9 and 5 walk into a haunted house...

9 leans over and whispers "I'm squared."

5 laughs and replies "I'm not, that would be irrational."

My best friend told me he was planning on naming his son "Square Root of 2".

Luckily his wife managed to convince him that would be completely irrational.

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What's the best name for the groups of armed anti-stay-at-home protesters?

Vanilla Isis

Flu Klux Klan

Lack Panthers

HamAss

Meal Team Six

Gravy Seals

Irrational Guard

Y'all Qaeda

Branch Covidians

Boko Moron

The Coughedaracy

101st Chairborne

Cosplaytriots

The Yeehadis

Hogan's Ze...

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Therapist: What seems to be the problem?

Me: I have an irrational fear of those gas station slushies, y'know the ones you get for a dollar?

Therapist: I see.

Me: *Screams.*

I have a fear of numbers which aren't the ratio of two integers.

It's really irrational.

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A parachutist is about to drop from a plane tommorow as part of a military excercise..

His mother calls him at midnight and with terror in her voice she says:
Do not go tommorow!! I saw a terrible dream, your parachute was not working and you were killed!! Please dont do it!!!
The soldier was terrified about his mothers dream but he still got into the plane. As the persons where...

My friend is blindly in love with pie.

I don't what to do with his irrational relations.

I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie,

but some people say that’s irrational.

Why did the √2 tell everyone the world is flat?

'Cause it's irrational!

All of my girlfriends can be divided up like numbers. You mean like sixes, eights and tens?

No. Imaginary, irrational or both.

My wife sat down with half a pie before dinner.

Me: Are you really planning to eat pie before dinner?

Her: Its only half a pie.

Me: Its still irrational.

Should I beat my kids?

I know I'm not supposed to, but they just make me so frustrated

My wife says I'm being irrational and getting wound up over nothing, and that if I beat them she'll be incredibly upset and won't even know what to say to me.

But you know when it's just the same stuff day in, day out. And...

What did the Pie say when he failed a math test?

"How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"

A scientist built a robot but unbeknownst to him, the battery was damaged.

The only way to fix the battery was to sprinkle it with sodium chloride. Some chemical reaction with the combination of battery acid and sodium chloride caused the robot to act highly irrationally and attack the scientist, at which point the robot had to be detained by police.

The robot was c...

How is number π like the Bible?

Both are believed to contain all the wisdom mankind will ever have.

Most people think that one of them has a proven value. While the other is irrational.

A friend has a fear of pi.

I keep telling him it's irrational, but he doesn't listen.

You've heard of Friday the 13th...

But what about the next day?
Pi Day the 14th: Irrational Fear

My wife wanted shoes for $1000π

But I refuse to spend irrational amounts on clothing

A math joke my teacher told me on Friday

A: I don't understand why people use fractions, they are pointless.
B: I mean... I like them, but you gotta know where to draw the line or people will think that you're irrational.
A: I still don't see the point I using them.

My friends, like numbers, fall into two categories

Odd and even?

No... imaginary and irrational.

You know what they say about Pi Day...

It really is an irrational holiday.

A: Hey, How do you manage to stay cool all the time?

B: I don’t get into arguments with stupid people. I just cut it short and say, “You’re right.”
A: But that’s completely irrational and wrong!
B: You’re right.

For some reason, my friend is afraid of fractions.

It's a completely irrational fear.

My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.

It was an irrational decision.

Why does nobody talks to pi?

He's irrational and he goes on forever..

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I get seriously pissed off when my professor brings up π.

I know, it's irrational.

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Babe, my sex drive is like Donald Trump's twitter...

Random, irrational, and provocative.

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A man was having trouble sleeping at night....

....due to a persistent and irrational phobia of monsters being under his bed. Despite knowing that there were no such things as monsters, his brain refused to let go of the fear that had haunted him all his life. He was undergoing therapy with a psychologist, but had gotten nowhere in several years...

When I get women into bed, I treat them like pi...

Just another number, and an irrational one at that.

C'mon, guys. Let's stop talking about pi day.

Its getting irrational.

my gf is like x of sin(2x)=0

she's irrational when she's on her period

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