Why did Ancient Egyptians placed their arms diagonally close to their chests?
Because they thought there were waterslides in the afterlife
Pyotr is a poor serf in Tsarist Russia... (Wife's favourite joke)
...tilling his field one day, he unearths a lamp. As he starts to rub off the dirt, a genie comes flying out and in a great, booming voice, says, "Pyort Petrovich, you have freed me! Fortunate you are, for I shall grant you any wish your heart desires!"
Pyort thinks a moment and says, "No, I ...
A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters!
‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’ ‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s ...
A backpacker finds a tiny village tucked away in the mountains with one tiny pub
He walks into the pub and there are all these old men just sitting around in silence. So the backpacker orders a beer and finds himself a seat.
Suddenly one of the men shouts, "Number 4!" and the whole room erupts with laughter.
The backpacker is surprised by this but then the laughter...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
To become a minstrel I had to buy dozens of chests, hoping to get a an instrument from one of them.
Fuck lute boxes.
My Brother in law had a chat with a game warden once.
My brother in law was stopped by the game warden recently with two ice chests full of live fish in water; leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
“Naw, my friend, I ain’t got no license. These here are my ...