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Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and Peter Fonda are hanging out towards the end of the Swinging Sixties...

*Easy Rider* has just come out, Simon and Garfunkel are about to release *Bridge Over Troubled Water*, and the three men are the epitome of counter-culture cool. They're all pretty stoned, and Paul Simon turns to Peter Fonda, and says, "Hey, Peter, you wanna see something really groovy?"

Pete...

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pain.

While examining the man's abdomen, the doctor asks "Have you been doing any strenuous activity recently?"

"Well," the man replies, "I'm in the process of moving twelve pallets of cinder blocks for a shed I'm building."

"I see. Well, it looks like that's given you a pretty bad hernia. W...

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers”.

She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Name a rapper with small abdominal muscles

2Pac

my husband, who works in a funeral home

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was...

A man who is well-known for overindulging at elaborate dinners is feeling abdominal pain and goes to his doctor. He asks, "Doc, is it my appendix?"

The doctor replies "No, I think it is more like your table of contents."

What does an author have after they get abdominal surgery?

A semi-colon

What do you call a Snowman with a six pack?

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An abdominal Snowman. ;)

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At the doctors office

I went to the doctors office due to a strange abdominal pain. My doctor adviced me to stop masturbating. "Is it dangerous?" I asked. "No", said the doctor " but it disturbs my concentration".

What happened after the Yeti did sit ups?

He became the abdominal snowman

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A man goes to the doctor...

A man goes to the doctor because of abdominal pain.

After asking a couple of things, the doctor says:

‚I'm sorry, but you will not be able to masturbate for a while. '

The man is surprised and wants to know why.

The doctor: ‚because i find it really hard to examine you l...

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This may be why Teachers retire early or turn to drinking: the following questions were in a (UK) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination (they are genuine answers):

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. In a democratic society, how impor...

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A nervous young man goes to pick up his prom date at her house.

As expected, his date is finishing getting ready upstairs. He sits in the living room waiting for her when her father and the family dog enter the room. The dad sits down across from the boy and looks him over thoughtfully. The young man begins feeling very uneasy, and his stomach starts to churn...

You know someone is hard core

When they have strong and well-defined abdominal muscles

Who's got the tightest bod in the North Pole?

Abdominal Snowman

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Magic Cheese

"Your blood pressure and cholesterol are too high for a 30 year old." The Doctor said to David. "You need to lose some weight and soon. You are sweating too much and your stool samples look a little too loose. In fact, you have the early stages of dysentery due to the terrible things you eat. I'm go...

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