What happens when you do nothing about a respiratory pandemic?
Your followers turn blue.
First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense.
Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!
Why did the fish accept its death after losing its respiratory organs?
Because it lost the gill to live.
An old woman is offered a covid vaccine at her senior home.
She refuses it and says "I have faith in God to protect me."
A week later, her nurse daughter calls her and tells her that she can come into the clinic and get her the vaccine quickly that day. Again, the woman refuses and says "I have faith in god to protect me."
Several weeks pass, ...
Just be thankful COVID-19 wasn't instead named East Asian Respiratory Syndrome.
"Dude, don't touch her. She has EARS!"
I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...
Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?
Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.
Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals
A guy goes to the doctor for a respiratory ailment...
...He says he's been coughing day and night for a week. His throat hurts all the time and he can't sleep.
The doctor examines him and notices he has a very distinct cough. "You're in luck," the doctor says. "Your illness is rare, but I happen to know of an excellent treatment for it. It may s...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
This man’s body parts having a meeting to decide how to survive the pandemic.
Brain has the chair.
He starts: Ok Everyone. Things looking bleak: a deadly virus is going around, the master is sitting home all day and not getting enough sun or exercise, he lost his job and started drinking – so The hard times are ahead. We need to get together and think how we can survi...
Why did so many Republicans vote for Joe Biden this year? (TW: Political, bad taste)
If you’re red, and you fail to take care of your voters during a respiratory virus pandemic...they turn blue.
How to name a virus... WHO version:
WHO HQ in 2003: : There’s a new type of corona virus outbreak in Guangdong province in China. : Let's call it Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome aka SARS. : Excellent name. It does not refer to any specific location or people. So no one will be blamed or feared for it.
Also WHO ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man is in the hospital.
He has some respiratory issues so they have him wearing a mask. He's all tucked into bed when a nurse comes in to do her rounds. He asks the nurse "are my testicles black"? The nurse thinks this is odd, but lifts up the sheets and says "No they normal". The man pulls of the mask and says "No, I aske...
Looking for the answer to these three jokes
Sorry that this isn't a joke post, but I have three jokes that I need the answers to, if anyone knows:
1. What do you get when you cross a pair of lungs and a chihuahua? 2. What do you get when you cross a pair of lungs and a sumo wrestler? 3. What do you do if your lungs run away? <...
Yesterday a casket at a funeral home magically came to life, and immediately got sick
It watched the news and became convinced it had contracted the coronavirus from it's intended inhabitant, a Chinese woman from Wuhan who had died of the disease.
The casket went to the emergency room at the nearest hospital. After overcoming her initial shock at diagnosing a casket, the ER do...