A blind man received a silver chestnut grater for Christmas

He said it was the most violent thing he had ever read.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call nuts on the wall? -Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? - Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin?... ? ? .. nothing because youโ€™ve got a mouth full of dick.

Lool my uncle told me this yesterday it is an absolute cracker ;)

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you get after a boobjob?

Chestnut

What's the difference between a chickpea and a chestnut

Trump never had a chestnut on his face

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What's the worst part of being given a chestnut?

Getting the cum out of your chest hair afterwards.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I've always liked chestnuts.

But I'd rather cum on her arse.

Winter- Pros: Chestnuts roasting.

Cons: Deez nuts freezing.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A student in a psych class is asking his professor about sexual fetishes.

Student: Do you know the scientific names of most of the sexual fetishes?

Prof: I believe I know just about all of them, Iโ€™ve been teaching psychology for over 40 years.

Student: well what do you call a person who is aroused by dead people.

Prof: easy, thatโ€™s a necrophiliac....

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Farmer's New Addition

There once was a farmer who owned luscious pastures. He proudly looked over them everyday. He always took care of all of his animals.

Though one day he had brought in a new foal, a chestnut coloured one, that he thought was adorable.

He got him on the farm but the foal looked nervous ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What can be both a sex position and a fruit?

A chestnut.

What is Easter?

Three men all die in an accident and met Saint Peter in front of the pearly gates.

"Welcome to heaven gentlemen. I would love to let you in but before I can do that I need to prove that you're devout Christians. If you can tell me what Easter is I can let you through."

The first man st...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do they call the aftermath of a successful boob job?

A chestnut

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man was talking to his stepdaughter when the stepdaughter asked...

"What do you call nuts on the wall?"

The stepfather replied "well my dear that would be Walnuts."

The stepdaughter then asks "well what would nuts on your chest be called?"

The stepfather replies "well my dear those would be called chestnuts."

The stepdaughter finally ask...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What's a bisexual's favourite food item?

Chestnuts

A woman walks into a pet shop

She sees a beautiful parrot, and asks the shop keeper if he says any words. The shop keeper says, "If you hold a match under his left foot he sings Highway to hell."

The lady is sceptical at first, but she tries it and the parrot sings Highway to hell. Amazed, she asks the shop keeper what e...

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call it when a male squirrel ejaculates onto a female squirrel's stomach?

Chestnut

Where did the peanut hide his treasure?

Inside a chestnut.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Stealing this one from charlie murphy.

My daughter walks into my room and says "daddy if I have a nut on my chest, does that make it a chestnut?"

I think about it for a second and say "yeah baby girl you're pretty smart".

She asks "well if i put a nut on the wall does that make it a walnut?"

And I tell her "yes it do...

A woman with blonde hair walks into an electronics store...

And gestures over a store employee.

"I want to buy this TV." She said.

The store employee replies to her, "I am sorry, ma'am. But we don't sell TV's to blondes. Store policy."

The woman is visibly upset, but formulates a plan. She goes home and she dyes her hair the most ...

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