I heard about people using cedar instead of silicon for breast implants, but think about if it happened to you, it'd be super weird,

Wooden tit

A Canadian logging company needed to hire another lumberjack.

The first guy to apply was a short little skinny fellow, who was laughed at by the manager and told to leave.

"Just give me a chance," the little guy pleaded.

"Okay," the manager replied, "Grab your axe and cut down that cedar over there."

Two minutes later he was back at the ma...

How do you get a tree-hugger pregnant?

Cedar

Saint Peter is seeing all of the new arrivals trying to go through the pearly gates in Heaven.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.

"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.

Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.I knew she was into so...

A couple of trees were shopping for a car...

They bought a two-cedar.

Two male trees are sitting at the bar...

One tree says to the other, "Hey man, see her over there? I wonder what kind of wood she has under that bark."

His friend responds, "Hmm, I don't know, Cedar?"

To which the first tree replies, "Cedar? I don't even know her!

What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico?

Baby cedar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lumber yard joke.

The owner of a lumber yard is interviewing people for a job in his lumber yard. He has several applicants that day and none of them are particularly noteworthy until a blind man walks in. Obviously confused the owner says " um, sir how do you propose you are to work in my lumber yard if you can't se...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lumber Inspector for Hire

A blind guy applies for a job as a lumber inspector at the mill.

The boss, obviously confused, exclaims, "How can you grade wood well being blind?"

The blind guy retorts back saying he has an excellent sense of smell and to "Try it out."

Amused the boss grabs a piece of wood out...

What do you call an Anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese!
-From *Cedar Rapids* the movie

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