Operator: 911, what's your emergency? Man: A guy just got hit by a car, I need an ambulance. Operator: What's your location? Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street. Operator: Can you spell that for me? Man: (long awkward pause) Operator: Sir? Are you there? Man: I'm gonna drag him over t...
Marsupials in Australia have been found drinking puddles of water with premium leaves from eucalyptus trees that have falling into them and enjoying it.
They believe it's some koala tea
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
(Based on a true story): My 6 year old son walked into the family room while I was watching a movie. He points at me and proclaims "You licked a puss!"...
I muted the TV and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm sorry? What did you say?"
He pointed again and proclaimed "YOU LICKED A PUSS!"
My mind stared racing... "Did we leave the door opened on date night last Saturday?" I then looked behind me and saw a candle burning.
What do you say to a koala to encourage him to beat his personal best in bench pressing?
My jokes are like eucalyptus steeped in water
What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?
Joey the marsupial applied for a job to eat eucalyptus leaves all day.
However, he was declined due to his lack of koalafications.
One day a man decided to retire. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How d...
After years of hard work, an ambitious yuppie books himself on a Caribbean cruise.
He has the time of his life until the boat sinks and he ends up on a desert island. A month later the man looks out to sea and sees a gorgeous woman rowing to shore. He asks her where she’s come from.
"I was shipwrecked last year," she says. "I’ve been stranded on the other sid...
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says “I’m outside 28 Eucalyptus Road”.
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There’s shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. “Jack?” says the operator, conc...
An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car
Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so....
A redneck's father passed away in his sleep
So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
What did the trees say to the Australians pruning them?
A 9-1-1 operator in the deep South picks up the phone
"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"
"Oh my God, it's my wife - she done been gored by a hog, she's bleedin' some real bad! Send help!"
"Calm down sir, and tell me where you are"
"I'm at 560 Eucalyptus Drive"
"Can you spell that for me, sir?"
"U... er... E, U... er... ...
A teacher asks her student about his favorite tree...
Teacher: "Bob, which tree do you love most?"
Bob: "The eucalyptus is pretty"
Teacher: "That's nice. How do you spell eucalyptus?"
Bob: "Yep, can't go wrong with a good solid oak"
An man goes in for a job interview. Unfortunately, he is told that his degree and experience are not enough and he is turned away.
The man decides he's gonna get that job whatever it takes. So he first gets large round head, big furry ears and big black nose. Then, he begins to grow grey-brown and white fur all over his body and claws extend from his fingers and toes. Finally, he thinks he's ready. So clutching his eucalyptus l...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two Americans, Frank and Joe, are on vacation in Australia...
It's their last day there and they have a few hours to kill between checking out of the hotel and getting to the airport for their flight. Frank says, "Listen, Joe, I heard about this great new act at a strip club that's on the way to the airport. A really hot Korean girl, Augusta Kwon, she's visiti...
What did the koalas say to the zookeeper after he cut their claws?
A koala walks into a barber shop
A koala walks into a barber shop and hops up into the chair. He points to the excess fur that has grown around his ears and asks the barber, "Can eucalyptus?"