The 13+ Best Evergreen Jokes

An evergreen Zombie Joke

2 people are running away from a Zombie when they back themselves into a corner.

The Zombie approaches, wanting to eat their brains.

1 of them suddenly has an idea. "Wait, don't eat us! We're \[insert unpopular group members, for example, a political affiliation you hate\]!"

The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Am I too late to make jokes about The Evergreen in Suaz Canal?

Has that ship already sailed?

Where do evergreens search for Christmas decorating tips?

Pine-terist

What do you call an evergreen with temporary godlike powers?

Spruce Almighty

I checked into a hotel and the place was crawling with people dressed up as evergreen trees.

Dang Firry conventions.

Yoda's been tracing his family tree.

It's an evergreen.

I drove into the mountains and saw a crew clearcutting a massive evergreen forest...

I wonder what fir.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know the story about the salmon in the mountain lake?

Imagine. A snow topped mountain, evergreen forests, clear blue skies, a beautiful lake reflecting the light of the sun.

Well in that lake, there was a salmon. Above the salmon a fly was buzzing around.

The salmon thinks: "if that fly flies ten centimeters lower, I can catc...

When your canals don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep past by your fleet, Will your cargo still remember the haste that I drove? Will your passage be blocked up for weeks?

'Cause, honey, your hull will always go slow, it's evergreen.

\~Capt. Ed Sheeran

My grampa's been telling the same joke about a ship that got stuck for years now,

it never gets old , it's Evergreen.

The origin of the angel on top of the tree

It must've been the coldest winter ever, with the worst snow storm this world has ever seen brewing in the North Pole on the Eve of Christmas. Santa was bedridden with a nasty stomach bug, and his workshop was short-staffed as many of the elves had contracted ~~herpes from sodomizing each other~~ th...

Tattoo Very High Up on the Inner Thigh

A sophisticated looking lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down.

The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her.

To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her silk skirt and points to her right inner thigh –...

A woman visits a tattoo parlor...

A woman visits a tattoo parlor and asks for a nice-sized turkey to be inked on her left inner thigh. The artist thought that was an unusual request, but he did exactly as she wanted.

One week later, the same woman comes in and asks for an evergreen tree to be tattooed on her right inner thig...

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