Chefs Jokes - 39 Hilarious Chefs Jokes

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I feel bad for chefs.

They work so hard but everything they make turns to shit.

Chefs don't tell yo mama jokes

They tell umami jokes.

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Three chefs were stuck on a deserted island.

They were completely out of food and about to starve to death so they decide they need to start eating each other.

First one of them cuts off his own hand. He marinades it in sea salt and then cooks it over a hot fire. The results are exquisite.

"Wonderfully crispy, just like my mother...

Thinking about starting a cooking website for chefs of all cuisines and ethnic tastes to show their skills.

Going to call it OnlyPans.

What is a chefs favorite earth spell?

Cast iron

Why are steakhouse chefs so good at holding grudges?

Because they really know how to season a beef.

Why are chefs so clingy about bread?

Because they knead them.

Why are zombies great chefs?

They can REALLY put their heart into things

Why do Beginner Chefs cook only Asian food?

They need to Wok before they can run.

Chef Tips

A chef walks into a bar, orders dinner and watches an episode of Hell's Kitchen on the bar TV. "You know, I used to be one of those chefs that yelled and shouted all the time," the bartender comments. "And then I discovered oven mitts."

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According to a recent survey of Chefs, about 82% of them are part of the LGBT community.

Interestingly most of them were pansexual

I used to be on of those chefs who shouts and swears a lot

But then I discovered oven mitts

I hate it when chefs gossip about stuff

All they do is stand around and stir the pot.

Why are chefs good lovers?

Because they understand the pan needs to be hot before putting their meat in

Why can't sous chefs get girls?

They're all beta cooks.

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Chefs make the most temporal type of art.

Within hours, it’s total shit.

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

What's the Preferred Luxury Automobile of Sushi Chefs around the world?

Rolls Rice

What do chefs use to play pool?

Cue-cumbers

A common chefs error

Is to think they must always add salt to a sauce before boiling it down. This is the fallacy of reductive seasoning.

Why are chefs so good at apologizing?

Because they can fork-give and fork-get

Jesus and Michelin Star chefs have one thing in common

They can both feed 5,000 people with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fish

What did the chefs say when they allow the cheese to be shred?

Parmesan grated.

A politician dies...

...and ends up at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks at him and finds his name in his book.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes. Is there a problem?"

"Oh no, there is no problem. But we have a policy for people in your profession, you have to spend a day each in heaven and he...

I was eavesdropping on two indian chefs talking..

It was a dhal conversation

What do chefs research?

Cutting-edge technology

What do you call 2 chefs working together in the same kitchen?

Taste Buds

Why are chefs the meanest?

Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream

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What do we call it when two Jamaican chefs battle it out?

Jerk-Off.

What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?

They curry on.

What do chefs call plants that make them laugh?

Amuse Bush.

What is a chefs weapon of choice?

A salt rifle

Why can’t short people become chefs?

Because it’s a high steaks job

What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?

A pairing knife

Before becoming Pop stars, the Bee Gees used to be professional chefs.

You could tell by the way they used their wok.

I most of the people that post here are chefs

Almost every joke is pan based.

Italian Chefs can now get an exclusive software update for their Tesla

It's been named Carpatchio

How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?

One, but you really have to cram him in there.

[nsfw] A chef had a one night stand with a 5 foot tall girl.

Shouldn't come as a surprise, really. Chefs like to bone a petite.

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