What do you call a hen staring at a bowl of shredded lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad

What did the cheese say before it got shredded?

Grate.

President Trump just banned shredded cheeses.

He wants to Make America Grate Again

Because of his loss in Wisconsin, Trump has put a ban on all shredded cheese.

It's the only way he can make America GRATE again.

Credit to my 12 year old son.

If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .

What kind of cheese do skateboarders eat?

Shredded cheese.

Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...

Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong Morel fibre.

A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me.

So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

How did Jesus get so shredded?

CrossFit

Do you think Mr. Cheese has been going to the gym?

I mean look at him, he's shredded!

Why aren’t more conservatives protesting the sales of pre-shredded cheese?

I thought we were trying to make America grate again.

just threw out a bag of shredded cheese.

the label said "since 1904"... there's no way it was still good to eat

Republicans are trying to put an ammendment into relief bill to outlaw prepackaged shredded cheese...

...in an attempt to make America grate again.

I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together

It was the most de-grating job I've ever had.

My local Trump-supporting grocery store has stopped selling all pre-shredded cheeses

... they want to make America grate again

What happened when the sparrow flew into the electric fan ?

Shredded tweet.

There's only one way the US is going to be able to redeem themselves after this presidency, and that's to outlaw the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

Make America grate again.

What do you call an inventory list of to-be-shredded media?

A shredsheet

You've all heard of Murphy's Law, but have you heard of Cole's Law?

It's shredded cabbage and carrot in mayonnaise.

Why was the shredded cheddar mad when the teacher gave him an F on the test?

He felt he had been unfairly grated.

I bought some Shredded wheat, but I think it's a bit of a con.

It's no more muscular than regular wheat.

So a German, an Englishman and an Irishman...

...were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when they were arrested by Saudi police. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to ...

[Political] I'm surprised Trump hasn't banned the sale of shredded cheese yet.

He said he would "Make America Grate Again"
(Sorry, that was a cheesy joke)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?

dicktator tots

TIL that the FDA has recommended a permanent ban on all shredded cheeses be put in place immediately.

It's part of an official federal plan to make America grate again.

A man walks into a gym and kills everyone there brutally

After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded

Yesterday I had to throw out my moldy shredded cheese

It was for the grater good.

THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike.

Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: "MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"

What's a guitarist favour type of cheese?

Shredded cheese

This guy moves to NYC

and the first night in his new apartment he realizes how loud his upstairs neighbor is, so he goes upstairs to politely ask him to cut it out. When he asks him to quiet down the guy responds with a nod and slams the door in face, resuming the loudness.

A week goes by and every night is the sa...

Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

What brand of cereal is the strongest??

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into an unfamiliar bar

He sits down at the bar and sees a pot of cash filled to the brim with notes. As he orders his drink he ask the bartender "what's with the pot of cash?"

The barman replies "we have a 3 tier game going on, winner takes all. £100 entry."

"Just out of curiosity, whats involved?" Asks the ...

You may know Murphy’s law, but have you heard of Coles law?

It is a side dish consisting primarily of finely shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a girl called Sally Brown...

...who said no man could lay her down

And over the hill came Piss-Pot Pete,

With fifty pounds of swinging meat.

He layed her down upon the grass,

And fucked the pants right off her ass.

Then, with one tremendous fart

She blew Pete's balls five miles apart<...

engineers

4 engineers are traveling down a road when suddenly the car comes to a stop

The electrical engineer says "the battery died"

The chemical engineer says "we ran out of fuel"

The civil engineer says "the road shredded the tires"

The computer engineer says "why don't we get o...

What do you call a blue bird who’s got run over by a lawn mower?

Shredded tweet



I’ll show myself out

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